Tag Archives: Bryan Golden

True Leadership Has Many Styles

Bryan Golden 

Author of “Dare To Live Without Limits”

Bryan Golden

Bryan Golden

The typical view of leadership is one person in charge of many. “But” there are many forms of leadership and leading takes place at many levels. You begin leading your life by taking a proactive approach to what you do. A leader makes things happen rather than waiting to see what happens.</span>
A leader doesn’t look for problems. A leader seeks to find solutions rather than complaining about issues. Successful leaders become experts at overcoming obstacles. Additionally, a leader inspires others to also take control of their own lives.
A leader doesn’t blame others for his or her situation. He or she takes full responsibility for succeeding. If something doesn’t work out as planned, leaders don’t give up. They endlessly persevere, adjusting strategy when necessary.
One can lead more effectively by asking questions rather than by making statements. The power of a question lies with its request for input. Conversely, a proclamation is more likely to cause a defensive reaction. When a person provides an answer, it is as if they thought of an idea themselves. Questions enable leaders to encourage cooperation instead of dictating.
Leaders are excellent listeners. They invite input and pay attention when someone else is talking. Leaders understand that listening is essential for effective communication. They can only offer a meaningful reply after they have heard someone else’s thoughts.
A leader develops their strengths while working to overcome weaknesses and helps others to do the same. Every person has specific aptitudes. Everyone has areas that need improvement. These are opportunities to grow, not limitations.
Leaders always keep an open mind. They are receptive to new ideas. They understand the reasoning, “that’s the way things have always been done,” is not legitimate justification. Leaders recognize the power of innovative thinking and constantly search for better ways of doing things.
A leader understands the importance of education. They recognize that learning is a life long endeavor. Regardless of how much someone knows, there is much more waiting to be discovered.
Leaders are receptive to dissent. They listen to a variety of opinions. Leaders recognize the value of ideas, understanding one person can’t think of everything. Although they may not agree with all they hear, leaders are constantly looking for pearls of wisdom.
A leader is always courteous and polite. They say please and thank you. Leaders respect others and make every effort to help people feel good about themselves. A leader will praise in public but criticize in private. They never belittle others.
Leaders earn respect, they don’t demand it. People gravitate to leaders because of the way they treat others, their attitude, their actions, and the positive energy they radiate. A leader doesn’t step on others to elevate themselves. Instead, a leader helps others to attain more.
A leader brings out the best in the people around them. They set good examples, act decisively, are sincere, and live by their own words. Leaders motivate through their actions.
We can learn a lot from the great leaders throughout history. Their actions are an inspiration to all. Leaders don’t have anything unique within them. Inside you, is the same potential. It’s a shame that more people don’t tap into their own capabilities.
You lead your own life. Regardless of your age or occupation, you are a leader. There is no limit to how many leadership traits you incorporate into your life. Act like a leader, and you will experience more satisfaction and happiness.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit <a href=”http://www.BryanGolden.com” target=”_blank”>www.BryanGolden.com</a> or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. © 2008 Bryan Golden

Lifestyles: How to Deal With Frustration

Bryan GoldenAuthor of  “Dare to Live Without Limits”

Bryan Golden
Author of “Dare to Live Without Limits”

Frustration is something you have to deal with on your road to achievement.  The journey is rarely smooth or as fast as you would like.  If life were perfect, frustration wouldn’t exist.  Although life is great, it is not perfect.  So you need to work to ensure frustration won’t get the best of you.  Let’s first look at the causes of frustration and then cover some strategies for coping with it.

One basis for frustration is impatience.  Today, more than ever, people expect instant results.  We have become so used to high speed technology like computers, the internet, cell phones, email, text messages, that we want all aspects of life to be just as fast.

Although we are surrounded by modern marvels which function at a breakneck pace, the basic principles of achievement operate at the same rate they always have.  There is a certain amount of time required to make progress.  Exactly how long something will take is not always known.  Frustration is exacerbated when you set a time limit that is unreasonably short.

We get frustrated when comparing what we have to others who have more.  There’s nothing wrong with ambition.  It’s motivational to want to achieve more.  It’s when you feel you are in a contest with someone else that frustration grows.

Obstacles, especially unexpected ones, frequently generate frustration.  Obstacles have the tendency to emerge at the most inopportune times, thus magnifying their impact.  They demand extra energy that we usually don’t have.

Always wanting more, without an appreciation for all you have, leads to frustration.  Those who are never satisfied find happiness elusive.  Unhappy people are frustrated people.  These people are like a dog chasing its tail; regardless of how fast the dog is, the tail will always be out of reach.

Here are some suggestions for coping with the above causes of frustration.  Succeeding takes time.  Focus on enjoying life and savoring the journey.  Keep your eye on the destination while enjoying the scenery along the way.

It doesn’t matter what other’s have.  You aren’t in competition with them.  A surprising number of people who have the outward appearance of success are very unhappy.  Don’t be jealous of what you think they have.

Take the necessary action to work toward your goals.  Action goes a long way to reducing frustration because you are not just waiting for something to happen.  Obstacles and setbacks are unavoidable.  There is a solution to every problem.  You have inside you what it takes to keep going.  If you stumble and fall, get back up and keep going.

It doesn’t matter what other people say, think, or do.  You don’t need their acceptance to be successful.  Appreciate all you have.  Develop an attitude of gratitude.  When you are thankful for the good in your life you will always have more than you need.  Although you can’t eliminate frustration, you can minimize it.

Always Something to Stress About

Bryan Golden

A stress free life is a goal for most of us.  Ideally, each day should be perfect, without any problems.  The reality is much different.  It seems as if there is always something to stress about.

Often, as soon as we solve one problem, another emerges.    Ironically, there is no shortage of information on how to manage, reduce, or even eliminate stress.  Yet, it can feel like a constant struggle to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Our minds become conditioned to look for things to stress about.  It’s almost as if we feel uncomfortable if life is too smooth.  When all is too quiet, we can think we must be overlooking something.  Our thoughts automatically focus on a new issue to stress about.  Even if there is nothing wrong, we are adept at seeking out a troubling perspective.

Sources of stress range from the mundane and inconsequential to major events.  A stain on a shirt, a rude remark from a stranger, or a bad hair day might be sources of anguish.  Even while being stressed, we have all thought, “why am I getting so stressed out by this?”  Still, it’s difficult not to get caught.

There are those people who appear to have the capability to let just about everything role off their backs.  They evoke jealousy as we wonder how they do it.  Granted, only a few have this capacity.  Many others hide the stress they internalize.

It doesn’t matter how others deal with stress.  What’s important is how you handle your circumstances.  You can’t always control what happens but you can control your reaction.  This reality is the key to avoid getting caught on the stress treadmill where you continually hop from one issue to another.

How do you stop finding things to stress about?  Start with recognizing how pointless stress is in the first place.  You can devote as much energy as possible.  It won’t accomplish a thing.  Besides, stress is exhausting and doesn’t make you feel good.

When you find yourself stressing about some issue, decide which of the following categories it falls into.  Either there is some action you can take or the situation is out of your hands.  If there is something you can do, by all means do it.

Don’t sit there and fret.

For circumstances you have no influence over, let it go.  This advice may not be so easy to apply at first.  With practice you will make progress over time.  Be diligent and catch yourself whenever you begin to stress.

You can substantially reduce the number of things you stress over by maintaining a positive perspective.  Constantly question whether the event at hand is even worth your attention at all.  You will quickly find that much of your stress is caused by quickly forgotten issues blown out of proportion by your mental lens.

It’s difficult to stop stressful thinking.  Much more effective is displacing these troublesome thoughts with a focus on the good in your life.  You take many things for granted that deserve regular recognition of gratitude.  Put your energy into identifying them rather than stressing.

You have to act proactively to break the cycle of stress.  You are probably more used to this habit than you realize.  Although some level of stress is a normal part of living, it is usually too elevated.

You will be amazed how much better you feel as your stress level drops.  Break the pattern.  Don’t look for something to stress about.  You will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

Searching for Gold

Bryan Golden

“Men are developed the same way that gold is mined. When gold is mined several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold; but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt-one goes in looking for the gold.” – Andrew Carnegie

Wouldn’t it be great if you could go for a walk and find piles of pure gold waiting to be gathered?  No effort would be required.  All you would have to do is shovel as much gold as you wanted into buckets.  However, if gold were so abundant, it wouldn’t have any value.  The aura of gold is linked to its exclusivity.

What makes gold so expensive is that it is so difficult to come by.  Mining gold takes a great deal of time and effort.  First a mine has to be discovered.  Several mines might have to be dug before gold is reached.  Next, extensive digging is required.  All of the many tons of excavated dirt have to be carried out of the mine.

Even when gold is found, it is not in usable form.  Raw gold is very crude, a far cry from the metal we see in jewelry or coins.  Before it can be used, it must be melted down in order to remove the impurities.

Because of all the work involved, gold is one of the most desirable metals.  You will never hear someone say, “I don’t want gold, it takes too much effort to get it.”  However, when it comes to achieving dreams, “It takes too much work” is a commonly heard mantra.

Anything worthwhile takes effort.  Whatever is readily available doesn’t have much worth.  Gold is a perfect example of this concept.  Reaching your goals is no different from searching for gold.  The reason more people don’t live their dreams is because it requires hard work and dedication.

Taking the easy route may be appealing from an effort standpoint, but the destinations easily reachable don’t have much value.  Going into the woods and gathering rocks is easier than finding gold.  However, no one will be willing to pay you hundreds of dollars per ounce for the stones.

Developing yourself follows the same rules.  It takes effort to enhance your value.  People with more knowledge typically earn more than those with less.  Knowledge can be obtained from many sources, not just formal education.  Continual learning should be a lifetime endeavor.

In addition to education, you have numerous personality attributes you can continuously enhance.  Your character traits are just as valuable, if not more so, than what you know.  Individuals who are trustworthy, hard working, dependable, honest, pleasant, friendly, kind, and motivated are considered invaluable.

Your search for gold within yourself is a never ending pursuit.  It’s a journey, not a destination.  You can always dig deeper inside with the objective of further self-development.  Each of us has flaws that can be corrected.

It doesn’t matter how old or young you are.  It’s never too early or too late to begin your internal prospecting.  To start, look in the mirror.  What you see is your gold mine.  There is a virtually limitless supply of riches within you.

How far or how long you have to dig is irrelevant.  Time goes by regardless of what you are doing.  Why not devote your energy to going for gold?  You can live your dreams.  Get started today.  You will never have any regrets you did.

NOW AVAILABLE:  “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.

Who Says You Can’t Do It?

by Bryan Golden

You have dreams, goals, and aspirations.   Enthusiastically, you share your plans with your significant other, family, or friends.  Instead of sharing in your joy, they give you a lecture on why you won’t succeed.  They list all of the things that can and will go wrong.

They know someone who already tried and failed at the exact thing you are now contemplating.  They provide you with a large dose of discouragement.  After speaking with them, you question the feasibility of your plans.  After all, everyone advised you to stop dreaming and be realistic.

Yet despite all of the negative advice, you have a desire that keeps gnawing at you.  It may subside for a time, but it keeps resurfacing.  You start to believe everyone else is right and you are wrong.  You wonder if you are viewing your plans with a biased outlook.  The people you speak with are surely more objective.

In spite of all the dissuasion, you see examples of people who are living their dreams.  How do they pull it off while you don’t feel as if you have a chance?

This is what you need to fulfill your dreams: a burning desire along with the willingness to do what it takes.  It doesn’t matter how much money you have.  Your educational level is irrelevant.  Who you know is immaterial.

Don’t listen to people who don’t encourage you.  Constructive criticism is one thing.  It is designed to help you find a successful path to your destination.  A negative onslaught serves no purpose other than to dishearten you.  People offering negative advice may not be aware of the damage it will cause you.  They are just acting in a manner they were taught, which is negative.

The staunchest naysayers are invariable those who have not realized their goals.  They are experts in uncovering justifications for failure.  Their opinions may even be unsolicited.  Subconsciously, they are jealous of any possibility you will succeed.  They would rather keep you at their level rather than giving you a mental boost.

There are people who you should listen to.  They are the ones who accomplished what you want to do.  They are the ones who can show you, by example, all that is possible.  They overcome obstacles and learn from their mistakes.  Your learning from their experience is much less costly and more efficient than reinventing the wheel.

That said, there is always room for innovation.  Just because something was done doesn’t mean there is no opportunity.  It’s always possible to improve on what already exists.  That is why new products and services hit the market on a daily basis.

You don’t have to personally know people who succeeded.  You can read books they write or books that are written about them.  Although most of the stories in newspapers and magazines are negative, there are always articles about people’s accomplishments.

The internet is a great resource for locating biographical information about successful people.  The more you fill your mind with examples of how others succeeded, and how they did it, the more enthusiastic you will become.

So when someone tells you something is impossible, go find someone else who succeeded.  For every critic, there is a trailblazer who is breaking new ground, accomplishing what was thought to be impossible.

And when you achieve what others said you couldn’t do, you will be told you were lucky or just in the right place at the right time.  But you will know it was your tenacity that made the difference.

NOW AVAILABLE:  “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.   2006 Bryan Golden

Opportunity

by Bryan Golden

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
- Thomas A. Edison

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great.
Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.”
- Orison Swett Marden

Opportunity is sought by virtually everyone. People flock to the US from all over the world in search of abundant opportunity. In our great country, there is more opportunity than anywhere else. Yet many of those who are born here don’t fully appreciate all of the opportunities that surround them each and every day.

There are a couple of misconceptions about opportunity that are unfortunately embraced by too many. One fallacy is “opportunity only knocks once.” Another is that you have to wait for your ship to come in.

The reality is, opportunity exists everywhere. There are new opportunities daily. Waiting for your ship to come in is comparable to playing the lottery; a miniscule percentage of people have a ship that comes in, whereas the vast majority sits at an empty port.

The key to finding opportunity is swimming out and locating your ship. The two essential elements are searching while being proactive. You will never find opportunity if you don’t look for it. You will never benefit from opportunity unless you work at it.

The essence of opportunity exists within you. It begins with the control you have over your destiny. You decide what you think about. Your thoughts shape your reality. What you believe to be possible is doable. Whatever you think is impossible will never happen.

After your thoughts, what happens to you is influenced by your behavior. You can have the greatest mindset, but without appropriate action, nothing will materialize. Thoughts without action are fruitless.

Since you have the opportunity to control your thoughts and action, you have the opportunity to make changes to your life. At any time, you can decide to make a change, and then take the necessary steps to do so.

You have the opportunity to make decisions. You can say yes or no. If you make a bad decision, you have the opportunity to make another one. You always have the opportunity to improve your circumstances.

You have the opportunity to control your emotions. You don’t have to give others the power to push your buttons. It’s not necessary to get upset or angry. You are not obligated to fight or argue. You control how you react to your environment.

You have the opportunity to select the occupation that best suits you. If you don’t like a particular job, you can get another. If you need more money, you can secure a better paying job. If you don’t like being an employee, you can start your own business.

You have the opportunity to get an education. At any age, at any time, you can acquire whatever information you desire. From learning a new skill, to earning a degree, you just have to make the effort, and the knowledge is yours.

You have unlimited opportunity. You can accomplish anything you want to. Realizing opportunity takes effort. If you chose the path of least resistance, which is often the path of least work, opportunity will constantly elude you.

Don’t wait for opportunity. Time goes by all too rapidly. Search for, find, and seize opportunity. Do what it takes to turn opportunity into reality. You have the opportunity to fail and the opportunity to succeed. The choice is yours.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. 2006 Bryan Golden

Who You Are, Not What You Have

It’s common for people to measure what they’ve accomplished by what they have accumulated. Often a person is eager to show off how much they make, what they are worth, or what they own. They erroneously believe their financial status is impressive.

Although it’s true money comes as a result of service to others, how much you accumulate is not a measure of who you are. Who you are is determined by how you treat others, regardless of your financial standing.
When you pass on, your legacy is not the assets you leave behind but rather how many lives you have positively impacted. Many millionaires have been despised. Conversely, those of modest means have been admired by all who knew them.

This is not to say that money is bad or lack of it is good. The fundamental issue is how you live. Who you are isn’t related to what you have. You don’t need a lot of possessions to be a great person.
It’s not important how much money you make if you discredit your character to obtain it. When you compromise your ethics, no amount of wealth can compensate for your loss. Once your integrity is tainted, it is virtually impossible to restore it.

The size of your house is not as important as how many people you welcome into it. A big house may be a sign of financial status. Yet size does not equate to warmth. A huge house can feel lifeless. A shack can feel cheery. You make the difference by how you treat visitors. Make them feel welcome, and your house is transformed into a home. When a guest feels like an intruder, a dwelling is no more than a collection of construction materials. It’s that simple.

How many people you befriend is more significant than how many friends you have. The distinction between friends and acquaintances is frequently blurred. Merely knowing someone doesn’t make him or her a friend. People who associate with you because of what you have, aren’t friends. Should your financial standing diminish, they will flee.

When you are a true friend to another, there is a good chance you will have a friend in return. Even if the other person doesn’t respond in kind, you shouldn’t be bitter. A sincere person doesn’t act in the hope of a payback. They get genuine satisfaction from assisting whenever possible, without any desire for reward.
How you treat your neighbors is more important than the neighborhood you live in. What’s the point of living in a fancy gated community where no one speaks to each other? A true neighborhood exists only when the residents behave neighborly.

Being a good neighbor begins with a smile along with a friendly greeting. In the days of the pioneers, your neighbors were essential to your survival. Today, you don’t have the same dependency on those who live around you. But you can still be friendly.

Working to the best of your ability is more important than the title of your job. Being the best at what you do, regardless of your occupation, is the surest way to get a promotion. Even if you have reached a dead-end at your current job, opportunity awaits you elsewhere. Being the best is something you will carry with you wherever you go.

The content of your character is more important than the content of your bank account. In the long, and short run, it is how you are known and remembered.

NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. 2006 Bryan Golden

Competition

by Bryan Golden

Is competition good or bad? Are you in competition with other people? Is it OK to do whatever it takes to win? Is winning of paramount importance? How are winners determined? Understanding the answers to these questions is essential to have a satisfying life.

Competition can be either good or bad, depending on the situation. In sports, competition between teams is good. Within each team, cooperation between the players is essential for peak performance. Competition among businesses creates innovation that benefits consumers. However, a company whose employees are just out for themselves will falter.

Competition on an individual basis is great, when appropriate. On a personal level, you seek to be the best you can be. In an educational environment, each student can strive for an “A” without having a negative impact on anyone else. In a business, each employee can endeavor to do the best possible job and everyone benefits.

Healthy competition compels self-improvement. A competitive environment fosters innovation. Competition motivates people to excel, pushing them beyond self-imposed limitations. Competition provides an incentive to work hard. Without competition, there are no rewards.

Historically, countries that have sought to eliminate competition have failed miserably. In a free society, everyone has the opportunity to compete. They also have the freedom not to. But it’s the competitors who reap the most from life.

Competition is bad when it is self-serving, to the detriment of others. Competition is good when it doesn’t undermine anyone. Competition to get ahead by excelling is good. Attempting to advance through unethical or underhanded tactics is bad.

The best competitors compete with themselves to continually improve. They don’t measure their progress by comparing themselves to others. They consistently try to do better then they have. They understand that there is always room for improvement, however slight.

Although it may seem as if you are competing with others, you are actually competing with yourself. If you are not maximizing your potential, not developing your capabilities, you are cheating yourself.

It’s not OK to do whatever it takes to win. If you win by stepping on others, any victories will be short lived. When your strategy involves tripping others, you will inevitably harm yourself. A victory won through nefarious means is no victory at all.

The news regularly has stories of athletes attempting to excel through the use of performance enhancing drugs. When caught, these people become disgraced and may even be banned from their sport.

Companies that deceive their stockholders and cheat their customers never rise to greatness. Employees who get promoted by back stabbing their coworkers invariably stumble and fall. Dishonesty may produce temporary gains, but the long-term results are disastrous.

Winning over someone else is not the goal. You don’t need to compare yourself to others in order to determine your level of success. You don’t have to be better, smarter, or wealthier to be happy.

Real winners are happy, content, and appreciative with their life. They compete with themselves by consistently growing. They are always competing in a positive fashion and never rest on their laurels.

You are your main competition, not someone else. Your objective is to keep developing rather than trying to be better than another person. Winners of races train to go as fast as they can. During a race, they look forward at the finish line, not behind them to see if anyone is catching up.

Are you a competitor or are you sitting on the sidelines? It’s never too late to jump on to the field. Do your best, keep improving, stay motivated, and you will always be in the front of the pack.

NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. 2006 Bryan Golden