By: Bryan Golden

Too often we underestimate

the power of a touch, a

smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or

the smallest act of caring, all of

which have the potential to turn a

life around.” — Leo Buscaglia

What does it mean to be a caring

person? Are you one? A caring

person is sensitive to the needs and

feelings of others. It’s not enough to

feel you care, you have to be willing

to take some action that can help

another to feel better.

Those who are overly self absorbed are not able to care about

others. They are too concerned

about their own circumstances to be

aware of anyone else. Self-absorbed

people often feel life is a contest

where they have to vie against others

for a piece of a limited pie.

This outlook is substantially

flawed. There is more than enough

for everyone. Life offers unlimited

abundance. However, self-absorbed

people will constantly struggle to

achieve their goals, if they achieve

them at all.

When you care about others,

rather than being wrapped up in

yourself, you attract more of what

you want as a result of helping others.

Caring people tend to be happier,

more content, and more successful

compared to those who are only

concerned about themselves.

Does it matter if people care

about you? Although it’s nice when

it happens, if it doesn’t, it shouldn’t

matter. It’s tempting to feel that you

will care about others only after they

care about you. The question then is

who will start caring first? Caring

isn’t a response, it is a cause. When

you care, others will care about you.

The people who care about you may

not be the same as the ones you care

about. But it doesn’t matter.

Should you only be caring when

it’s convenient, or is it worth the

effort to be caring even if it requires

some sacrifice? People who genuinely care, do so regardless of the

energy required. Caring isn’t linked

to convenience. Rather, it’s based on

someone’s need.

How can you show how you

care? There is no gesture too small.

As the opening quote so aptly states,

there is amazing power in a touch,

smile, kind word, or sincere compliment. Something that may seem

insignificant to you can have a major

impact on the life of another.

A caring gesture, at the right moment, regardless of how simple, will

seem like a gift from God to the

recipient. In return, there is nothing

more satisfying than knowing you

have made a difference to someone

else.

NOW AVAILABLE: Dare to

Live Without Limits, the book. Visit

www.BryanGolden.com or your

bookstore. Bryan is a management

consultant, motivational speaker,

author and adjunct professor.

Email Bryan at bryan@columnist.com.

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by Bryan Golden

People often ask too little from life because they are cautious.  Their reasoning for this is the desire to stay safe.  Caution can keep you from getting hurt.  Being extra cautious is often stated as a reason to avoid something new.  Caution can also be used as justification for being indecisive.

If caution is overly exercised, you will miss opportunities.  Undue caution causes paralysis by analysis.  In this syndrome, a person is so consumed with avoiding mistakes that they are unable to make any decision at all.

When used appropriately, caution plays a valid role in decision making.  When misapplied, caution is used as an excuse for inaction.  In order to succeed, it’s important to use caution wisely.

People are overly cautious when they consistently fear the worst.  Caution must be balanced with reason to keep it from being a detriment.

The other end of the spectrum is being reckless.  Reckless people don’t care about potential risks.  They rarely plan for the future.  The reckless individual acts as if they are not at all concerned about the consequences of their actions.

You want to use caution to your advantage.  In order to do this, you have to perform a realistic risk / benefit analysis.  Consider the worst case scenario, along with the chances of it occurring.  Life is not risk free, but most of the situations we worry about never come to pass.

There is no way 100% safety can ever be guaranteed.  Whenever you attempt something new, evaluate the potential benefits compared to the risks.  Perhaps you are unhappy at your job.  You would really like to work someplace else but are concerned you may not find another satisfactory position.

The overly cautious person wouldn’t bother looking for other employment.  Their caution will cause them to stay where they are rather than risk something worse.  A person who is realistic about the potential of a better job realizes that even if a new job doesn’t work out, there are many other opportunities for employment. They will look for something else instead of suffering.

Caution causes people to settle for less than they really want.  They convince themselves circumstances could always be worse.  Although this belief is technically true, it doesn’t lead to happiness and a high quality life.

Appropriate caution can also prevent you from squandering your future in favor of a short term, temporary gain.  “I don’t know why I did that, I must not have been thinking,” is a statement you don’t want to be making.  The carpenters saying, “measure twice, cut once,” contains much wisdom.

Reaching your goals always involves some degree of risk.  However, the degree of risk is reduced by your preparation, determination, hard work, and positive attitude.  Use caution to avoid needless risks which offer little or no reward.  You also want to avoid risks where success is based on luck.  Don’t let caution keep you from getting all you want from life.

NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.

© Bryan Golden

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by Bryan Golden

How often have you heard someone say, “I’ll give it a try?”  Perhaps, you’ve even said it yourself.  We all were told to try harder.  The problem with trying is that it provides a plausible way out if you decide to give up.

Who can fault a person who says, “I gave it my best try but it didn’t work.”  Well, if an individual tried, what more can be asked of them?

There is a big difference between “I’ll try” and “I will.”  To try is to attempt.  A person who will do something won’t accept failure.  They are determined to persist until success is realized.

The person who tries, starts out with some doubt as to the probability of success.  They are not fully convinced, beyond any doubt, that what they are attempting will work.  This inhibits the individual from doing whatever it takes to be successful.  At the first obstacle, they are prone to declare their goal unattainable and give up.

The difference between success and failure is attitude.  What appears to be only a slight difference in thought has a major impact on results.  By making a minor change to your approach, you will transform your life from one of frustration to one of obtainable goals.

It all starts with a recognition that there is a solution for every problem and a way past every obstacle.  This allows you to tap into your inner well of determination before you even start to tackle the situation you are facing.

Tell yourself, “I will succeed.  There is a way and I will find it.”  I can’t emphasize enough the role your initial mental state plays in the final outcome you will experience.  Before you begin, program into your mind that failure is not an option.

Understand it’s normal to experience challenges, obstacles, or adversities.  This way, you won’t be dismayed when they occur.  As you encounter these bumps in the road, keep focused on your destination.

Other people will encourage you to give up at the first sign of trouble.  Although their input is very discouraging, you must not allow them to dissuade you.  From these people you will hear every reason imaginable as to why it’s OK to abandon your pursuit.  The naysayers will always conclude with, “but you gave it your best try.”

You also need to fend off your own negative thoughts.  It’s only human for doubt to creep in when the going gets tough.  You will get tired, frustrated and irritated.  Your enthusiasm will become depleted.  Just as you ignore negative comments from others, disregard your internal sentiments as well.

The bottom line is that you only fail when you give up.  When you are faced with challenges, bailing out may appear to be the easy route.  But abandoning your goals means you won’t be living the life you want.  Instead, you will then be settling for something less desirable.

If you are not really prepared to go the distance, to do whatever it takes, to overcome all obstacles, don’t waste your time by giving something a try.  The success you experience is based on your efforts.  Be the person who succeeded rather than one who tried.

NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.

© Bryan Golden

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by Bryan Golden

We all need to take a break from the daily grind.  Evenings, weekends, holidays and vacations provide us with an opportunity to rest, recharge and recoup.  Without these recovery periods, there is a greatly increased risk of burnout.  Proper balance is important.

However, there is a big difference between healthy regeneration time and escaping reality to avoid dealing with issues that require some type of action.  A normal break gives you the chance to reenergize in order to better handle life.  The person who escapes is attempting to avoid dealing with reality altogether.

At some point, the escapist has to face those situations they tried to run away from.  Given a choice, no one wants to have problems.  The desire to run away from them is a normal emotion.    Although escape may be appealing, there will come a time when you have to stop hiding and deal with life.

Some people escape through drug and alcohol abuse.  This approach is particularly insidious as it is self-destructive, creating another whole set of problems on top of the original situation.  This is one of the worst forms of escape there is.
Others escape by spending all of their time lost in their work.  They become so consumed with a career or business that they neglect home and family issues.  Then there are those who devote all of their free time to hobbies, sports, socializing, or other activities.

Another type of escape is moving frequently in search of a place free from problems.  There is a catch with this strategy also: unresolved problems follow a person wherever they go.
Escapists make excuses justifying their behavior.  They always have a reason why they aren’t addressing important issues in their life.  They may even deny any problems exist at all.  Escapists hide from reality by doing anything that keeps them from facing problems requiring action.

How can you tell if you are trying to escape?  Start by taking an honest look at your life.  What are the important unresolved issues with work and family?  If you are too busy to deal with them, you may be trying to escape.
Although escaping may seem the easier route, all it does is prolong the inevitable reckoning you will face in the future.  Remember, ignored problems tend to grow in severity.

So if you deceive yourself by escaping, your obstacles will increasing in intensity.  Once you reach the point at which escape is no longer possible, you can have a monster that is out of control.

Escapists may seem happy.  In reality they are building a house of cards whose collapse is inevitable.  Escapists may even attempt to avoid responsibility for their problems by blaming other people or circumstances.

Keep your life in balance.  Take breaks to recharge.  Allow yourself time to identify and evaluate problems.  Formulate a plan of attack before situations mushroom out of control.  Abusing drugs and alcohol is never a solution.  They will only exacerbate your problems with blinding speed.

NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.

© Bryan Golden

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by Bryan Golden

Pull on a loose thread dangling from a carpet and the entire carpet can unravel.  Some seemingly small things in life can have the same effect.  Left untended they can lead to much greater consequences than imagined.

Human tendency is to ignore small things in order to give our attention to larger issues that have already reached the crisis stage.  These emergency situations scream for attention.  The minor ones, the loose threads, fall by the wayside.  Since they carry no immediate consequences, we feel loose threads can be safely put off.

This strategy creates a crisis incubator in which a continual source of minor issues are given time to develop into major situations.  Those who experience this phenomenon become frustrated with the seemingly endless flow of serious predicaments requiring resolution.

Although some emergencies can’t be predicted or prevented, many can be eliminated by tending to the issues while they are still in the relatively insignificant stage.  Solving a problem early takes much less effort than handling it once it becomes overwhelming.

Since it’s easier to fix a problem when it’s small, why not do it?  Your life will be much less stressful and more manageable.  With a small change in behavior, you will experience big rewards.

Start by becoming aware of problems when they first arise.  Once you identify an issue, decide what action needs to be taken.  If you are not sure what to do, don’t just ignore the situation.  Keep focused until you formulate a plan.

You may need to seek the advice of someone who has expertise in your area of difficulty.  When your car is making a strange noise, talk to a mechanic.  If something is bothering you physically, see a doctor.  For a legal issue, consult a lawyer.

Other problems can be solved by taking action yourself.  Nothing will ever be fixed by worry or anguish.  Many of life’s problems can be dealt with early on by utilizing common sense.  Spending some time evaluating various solutions will often yield the answer you need.

Be cautious about seeking advice from friends and family.  Although their advice may be well meaning, it may not be appropriate for your situation.  Everyone will have suggestions for you.  It’s up to you to use discretion in deciding who you listen to.

As you begin to solve problems when they are small, you will start to see a reduction in the number and magnitude of major issues.  It won’t happen overnight, but it will occur.

Once you get in the habit of early problem resolution, you will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.  It takes a lot less effort than dealing with situations when they are out of hand.

You can learn to deal with the loose threads.  Don’t make any excuses for not doing so.  Regardless of your current situation, being proactive will make things better.

NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.

© Bryan Golden

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