Some interesting things are heating up in the ol’ quest for true love. I am getting bites, from male readers! Quite frankly, a cynical male pal told me that he only reads this column because he knows me, that reading it makes him feel “goofy,” but apparently, many other men are on board! So COOL! It’s a high compliment to know that men can relate to being single, on the mend and opening one’s heart to love. At the Mohegan Sun Casino, when Patti Stanger invited me to Singles Boot Camp, men were a minority, to say the least.
I was contacted by one male reader who sent me a private message, thanking me and saying that this journey gives him hope. Another male reader gave me a shout-out on the fabulous Resident website and we are now friends. Might this be the beginning of a new trend?
Since I started this column, I made a few matches for friends in my inner circle. I encountered some people who seemed to have common interests and brought them together. As far as, their success as couples, they’re on their own.
There are many do’s and don’ts in the early stages of courtship and well, I think if those rules are broken, it’s like ‘shooting oneself in the foot!’ An example that I just pulled from an episode of Patti’s show Millionaire Matchmaker is, “Don’t air all of your dirty laundry and baggage right away. A man is looking for the mother of his children and his wife.” One friend broke that rule and the deal is dead in the water.
Other missteps are sex too soon and drinking too much. Oops! I have a feeling that another match I made went sour because a friend broke this rule. The good news is that there are plenty of fish in the sea and you never know when Mr. or Miss Right is going to bump into you!
And when you do bump into a potential match, Patti preaches the five-second stare. Yes, five whole seconds. Use that beautiful smile, lock eyes and hold for five beats! I think I’d start to sweat and turn fire-engine red, but I’m going to give it a try. Maybe I’ll try my butcher or the gas attendant.
Another bit of advice on this topic is that women often feel bad about saying “No” and go out on dates when they have no interest in the man. Now that I am getting some responses, I feel that this is truly valuable, as I have a tendency to struggle with “No,” as well. I hate confrontation, especially if it is going to hurt someone’s feelings.
Here’s a diplomatic quote to use from Patti, “I don’t feel any chemistry and I don’t want to waste your time, but if I know of somebody, I’ll send them your way. And, I hope if you know anyone for me, you’ll do the same.”
I’m off to go practice my five second stares and have a look into theses potential suitors. Work is keeping me so busy I haven’t checked the men out!
As my idol, Marilyn Monroe once said, “A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.”
Be well and please post a comment if you are looking for love!
Angela is beating the heat in her pal Dennis’ backyard with some fresh produce. She is prepping a fresh, shrimp stew, which her adopted Ecuadorian family taught her how to make. It includes shrimp, cilantro, green plantains, yucca and choclo (giant corn).
by Angela Olsen
photo by Dennis Johnson
Phew Readers! If ever there was a time to get in touch with one’s “natural beauty” it’s now. My skin does not recall what it feels like to towel off completely, don makeup or moisturizer since the last installment of this column. Although it makes following the rules of Patti Stanger’s book Become Your Own Matchmaker a bit more challenging, it certainly allows time to flirt with the “real me.”
I think of Chris Rock, my favorite comedian who says that women are “Masters of the lie, the visual lie… Look at you. You got on heels, you ain’t that tall. You got on makeup, your face don’t look like that. You got a weave, your hair ain’t that long.” Well, the secrets are out this month, and that’s no lie!
There is a freedom in “outing” the lies, not to say that they are crippling, but rather, because of what they reveal in other people, men to be specific. This is what you’re going to see every day at the crack of dawn. If it scares you, it’s best you know now and head for the hills!
The other day, a lovely woman, friend, and sailor, Diane McAllister reminded me that I declared to the world in the last Resident that I was contemplating taking a lover. She ribbed me, as I found myself in a bit of a jam with some, perhaps, uninvited male attention; or at least overwhelming for the time and place. Mama Mia!
So, people are asking me, did I take the plunge? I’ll never tell.
What I will share is that in the spirit of natural beauty and summer heat, I find that this notion of attraction to the opposite sex is by far more intuitive than I ever imagined. I have my witch’s brew of the perfect man, but that does not mean if he exists, I’ll have that feeling.
I met someone who looks great on paper: educated, served our country, brought me out of my element and got me walking after midnight in downtown Mystic.
However, when the rubber met the road, those pheromones just didn’t spark. The chemistry was lackluster.
Patti tells clients that the, well, male does the picking when it comes to attraction to the opposite sex. I will be paying close attention to my dog, and hopefully learning a few tricks! Stay cool. Stay hydrated!
I’m sporting the lovely Native American gift given to me by a handsome mystery man. Patti Stanger says, “Don’t wear too much bling around men, or they won’t see the empty space to adorn.”
by Angela Olsen photo by Eric Allard
How many times have you heard people babble that old cliché, which says, “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself?” Although this makes perfect intellectual sense, it is not always what a person wants to hear when they are down in the dumps.
My past struggle with debilitating clinical depression is no secret to you loyal readers. In fact, all Patti Stanger did, at the Mohegan Sun Casino, was take one look at my body language, and listen to a question I ‘threw out there,’ at Singles’ Boot Camp, and she could tell immediately that I was bummed and that my self-esteem was shot!
At that point in time, on Valentine’s Weekend, I was feeling quite well. I thought I was doing just fine! Traveling alone to the casino, and subsequently to an event by myself was a huge step for me!
Once I was approached following Singles’ Boot Camp by our publisher, Alexis Ann, my life started to turn around immediately! She asked me to write this column. It was such a privilege, such an honor to finally be validated by someone and for someone to have faith in me. I truly owe the deepest gratitude to her for that!
Now, I notice that the “vibes,” which I am giving off are much happier, much brighter! Every day is now an adventure and I bounce off the walls with a zest for life! This new happiness feels so good! I attribute these feelings to this wonderful outlet, writing! Having said that, I must suggest to anyone struggling to find happiness – choose something you love, and dive into it immediately!
What I find fascinating, is the amount of attention I am now receiving from members of the opposite sex! Let me be clear; I’m at a plateau, but down by 45 lbs. I feel slightly sexier, but I am still a work in process, as far as I am concerned. I meet drop-dead gorgeous women every day, who wear exquisite clothes and accessories.
I was completely single for over two years, and wasn’t asked out to as much as a car-wash! Now, all of a sudden, men are finding me interesting again! What gives? I’m a little older now, a bit round, and extremely quirky! I can only explain this in terms of the happy energy I am now beaming out into the Universe. After all, Patti preaches that “your SMILE is your calling card!” Perhaps I am finally ‘getting back-that which I am sending out!’
I found myself on an accidental date last week. I thought I was going fishing with a handsome man as a platonic friend, but he told me that I “shot an arrow through his heart!”
The following night, he showed up at a local restaurant and gave me some fabulous Native American jewelry!
That same day, an artist brought me an uncanny painting of myself, and last night, another painting of my last photo, from The Resident! It is so sweet. I haven’t been showered with thoughtful gifts since my early twenties!
I must admit, I miss the touch of a man. I am considering taking a lover. As Patti says, “No sex until you’re in a committed relationship,” but it’s alright to be intimate with “Mr. Right Now.” After all, if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it!
I am finding such exhilaration in being kind to people and making them smile. Giving a compliment is a marvelous way to make someone’s day, and it feels good! We are all connected, all sharing this planet, and if I can finally achieve happiness after years of darkness – so can you!
This professional shot was taken by Paul Duda, at Duda Studios, New Haven. The photo landed Angela Olsen several gigs in film and television.
by Angela Olsen
As a photojournalist for the Resident, I frequently find myself behind the camera and, I might add, becoming quite the amateur photographer. People kill me with the negative self-talk I listen to while snapping my Residents on the Street! The litanies of “my face is so fat,” “my nose looks too big when I smile,” “I have a weird head.” Are you kidding me?
How would any of us feel if another person said those things to us? It would be crushing, damaging, an outrage! I am not above it, let me be honest, I am the “Queen of Quirks,” and among the many, is the ability to be mean to myself, but I do know how to pose for pictures!
Bravo TV’s Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker” made one thing abundantly clear at Single’s Boot Camp at The Mohegan Sun Casino. If you are interested in finding true love, you better get over your camera hang-ups in a hurry!
Patti strongly suggests a professional photo shoot, not only for online dating sites, but also for a card, which you should carry everywhere. The card looks like a postcard, the front is a professionally shot photo of yourself and the back has a brief bio and contact information. Patti actually brought a woman on stage in the Cabaret Theater, who she randomly met, prior to the Boot Camp, who took this advice. The woman was on a flight seated next to the aunt of a hot, single man. The card enabled matchmaking to happen in an unlikely place.
While I was a student at Fordham University, I attracted the opportunity to begin working as an actress in film and television. The first thing I had to do, was to sit for a professional photo shoot.
I prepared myself by looking at pictures of legends like Marilyn Monroe, and other people with “retrosexual” appeal. Quickly, I learned that it takes a bit of work to communicate the carefree and sensual vibe through the lens of a camera. As far as looking “sexy,” it takes work and can often inadvertently look sleazy.
My first professional photographer was an elderly Russian man, Vladimir. He applied more makeup to my face than I wore on stage, or even Halloween. I was taken aback by his technique, and he assured me, “just relax, you will see the difference.”
He used a light beige Max Factor Pan Stick under my eyes, almost to the top of my cheeks! I thought, “What did I get myself into this time?”
Vladimir also told me not to ever allow anyone to shoot me from the right side of my face… it was my bad side. Accordingly, I took it personally at first and developed a minor complex. Nonetheless, the photos were amazing, and in spite of, or perhaps because of, the makeup, I looked like me!
There are several videos on YouTube, which, I checked out to verify the accuracy of the tips, and they are quite good if you would like to take a free crash course in posing for pictures.
Some simple things I tell everyone I photograph are to stand up straight, suck in your tummy, square off shoulders, and lick your lips to relax your face. Find out which side is your best, because Vladimir was right, my right side is asymmetrical.
Patti suggests teeth whitening to many clients and Botox. I am a huge fan of Crest White Strips, but Botox is not for me. I have facial ticks, called benign essential blepharospasms, and Botox was recommended as a treatment to induce localized, partial paralysis. Saying I didn’t react well to it is an understatement. After several Botox treatments, ten injections at a time, my right side wasn’t the only part of my face that was asymmetrical!
Most importantly, be kind to yourself before your photo shoot, and no negative self-talk! Have fun with it!
Angela Olsen, Noank, finds herself through charity and channels her energy into helping others.
by Angela Olsen
This edition of the Resident has me on a natural high! I found myself covering several amazing stories, which deserve their moment in the spotlight! The overall theme is people helping people, people giving back, which to me, is the greatest good! While talking to my “Residents on the Street” it was heartwarming to hear nostalgic stories from people, telling me how much they love their fathers, and what their fathers mean to them.
In keeping with the advice given to me by Patti Stanger at Singles Boot Camp at the Mohegan Sun, I decided to throw a sexy party for some amazing women, which had a charity focus, but also delved a bit deeper into intimacy. We collected bras and cash donations for Athena’s Cup, an organization with a goal of raising $500,000 for breast cancer research and to link 169,000 bras together in Newport this October, to set a world record.
Inadvertently, the fiesta took place on the same night as the opening of “Sex and The City II,” another manifestation of the Law of Attraction. I know for sure that every woman in attendance learned something from our Goddess, Maria Madole Bareiss, which will be beneficial to their intimate life for years to come! Maria is a knowledgeable, dynamic educator and public speaker. In Patti’s book, “Become Your Own Matchmaker” she suggests attending charity events to meet successful men.
Recently, I met two remarkable people on the Angel Flight; the pilot, Pierre Wicker, and Diane, the patient. When I asked Diane what motivates her to keep fighting, she told me that she needs to live her life, and that she “has cancer on Tuesdays.” Wow! What an inspiration. What I am taking away from being involved with these events, as a photojournalist, is that it is where we can find ourselves, and I believe that, accordingly, everything else will come.
Now that Memorial Day unofficially kicked-off Summer, many of us will be hitting the beach. Patti told me that I needed to lose weight, and thus far, I have shed 45 pounds. While I was sweating away in the gym yesterday, I took a descent into some trashy TV, “30 Best and Worst Beach Bodies.” Ladies and gents, Kim Kardashian has brought back the bootie! As my Latino friends say, the “culo de plancha” (butt like an iron) is out, so skip the sarong-but do use sunscreen, or you will be unable to sit for two days like myself. Oops!
As far as flat-ironing my hair, I know Patti says that men prefer it straight, but in the New England humidity, forcing your curls straight is a losing battle. I never met a man who doesn’t think beach hair is hot!!!
Thank you for reading. I am realizing that my family is this terrific community and to see the beauty of the human spirit through these opportunities is humbling. A quick update, I finally am learning how to flirt again, thanks to Becky Walsh. I was invited, with ample notice, to spend the weekend on Block Island with a handsome millionaire and his boat, but I am booked solid with charity events!
