It’s not hard for women in midlife to feel like they belong to the sad “Island of Broken Toys,” says Xandra “Sunny” Moon, a self-described “liberated, 18-wheeler-driving, 40-plus babe.”
“There are thousands of beautiful mothers, wives and ex-wives out there who feel like they’ve lost their sexuality–I know because they tell me as I travel the country and get to know them,” says Moon, author of “The Power of the Titz…a woman’s journey back to her self” (www.sunnymoonspowerworld.com). “My mission is to let them know they can get it back!”
Like the many of the women she meets in her travels, Moon suffered physical and emotional abuse as a young woman. After raising four children, she fell into a deep depression, she says. But by the time she climbed out, she was happy, confident and back in touch with the Real Sunny, she says. Moon lists the ways in which women 40 and older can rediscover the vivacious babe that still lurks within.
Embrace your sexuality! It’s not just a “Mrs. Robinson” stereotype–older women do make for better, more participatory partners. Older women have more self-possession; they tend to have more personality, intrigue, and performance.
Study and work? Perhaps the most important vehicle for Moon’s self-empowerment is her continuing education. Gaining her GED and furthering her education at a university allowed her to support herself with a good job.
Remember your old social life? A big part of relocating your inner diva is remembering the good times you had as a teen and 20-something–back when you had your first appletini, your first date at a fancy restaurant, and, yes, even your first day-long hangover. In many ways, these things recur like new again. Under-appreciated mothers and wives tend to live primarily for others, but now it’s time to reclaim those fun nights and also catch some time for yourself.
Cosmetic surgery? A touchy subject for many ladies. Moon’s has advice. Her first rule is to have cosmetic surgery only for yourself–not for someone else, and ensure you are in good enough health to withstand the rigors. Other important considerations include realistic expectations, potentially catty responses from girlfriends, short- and long-term consequences (such as time off work), and maintenance.
Dating outside your comfort zone? Maybe now is the time to consider other types of partners. Now is the time to be adventurous and explore new avenues.
Health/Diet/Exercise? Of course, feeling and looking attractive is important, so be healthy! Nothing is better at giving ladies that can-do attitude than a nice workout.
“We have but one life,” says Lee Abzu, Moon’s second husband, soulmate, and the coauthor of her books. “If you’re single and in your 40s, 50s, 60s, or older, you can either live your own new life, or wait around for the kids or grandkids to come by and visit!”
Xandra “Sunny” Moon came into her own after age 40. She has worked 14 years as a truck driver, during which she has spoken with thousands of women at midlife. She now counsels women who are seeking rebirth.