(l-r) Co-founders, Mary Chapman Howland, Mystic, and Sue Lantelme, Ledyard, know that F.A.M.I.L.Y. Kitchen, a soup kitchen at the Faith Lutheran Church, Groton, is needed now more than ever.
While “Forbes 400” released its list of wealthiest Americans today, there are many residents living in our communities struggling to feed their families. Mary Chapman Howland, Mystic, speaks with enthusiasm at the Faith Lutheran Church, Groton, about F.A.M.I.L.Y. (Forget About Me, I Love You) Kitchen. It’s the brainchild of her, Sue Lantelme, Ledyard and the residents.
On a tour of the facility, located inside the church, the two women explain how perhaps divine intervention brought them together to wage this crusade against hunger. Following a walk through the surrounding neighborhoods, asking what the congregation could do for the community, Sue discovered that people needed food!
At the same time, the ink was barely dry on an opinion piece penned by Mary about the need of a soup kitchen in Groton. The women joined forces and are now serving up to 70 people every Monday night, and the number is growing!
The women first met in October 2009, and Mary, who had prior experience running the Sunshine Kitchen at Fitch Middle School, knew that it would take nearly nine months to get up and running. They had to get their 501c3 Status, approval from Ledge Light Health Department, as well as, an umbrella insurance policy. Their first dinner was May 3rd, and as the program is gaining momentum, it is also running out of money!
The kitchen has no paid employees, everyone volunteers their time. They opted to not receive government funding, which would require the attendees provide personal information. The face of poverty is changing and perhaps divulging such private information would actually deter people from seeking assistance.
Thus far, the kitchen has provided formula and baby food to families with little ones, but is in dire need of cash and gift cards to continue doing so. “If people would just skip Starbucks for a day, they could donate $20,” suggests Mary.
For more information, please visit www.ctfamilykitchen.org or or call Mary on her cell 860.460.3405. Donations can be mailed to: F.A.M.I.L.Y Kitchen, c/o Cheryl Crocker, 66 Pepperbox Drive, Waterford, CT 06385
Dear Paws4Pets: I have a 1-year-old golden retriever, “Hal,” and he has contracted puppy warts. I have been told there is no treatment for this, and the only recommendations I’ve received are to give him multivitamins and an occasional treat with honey on it. I’m hoping this will clear up in the next few weeks, as I usually put him in doggy day care two or three days a week, and they won’t allow him as this is extremely contagious. Do you have any tips on any other form of treatment that would clear this up?
— Sue, via e-mail
DEAR SUE: Unfortunately, because puppy warts are caused by a virus, there is no treatment that will cure Hal quickly. The infection has to clear up on its own. Multivitamins will help keep Hal physically strong so that his immune system keeps working to get rid of the virus, but other than that, time is the only cure.
Puppy warts normally clear up after about 45 days. Be sure to just let them go away on their own, and don’t try to remove them yourself.
It is inconvenient for your puppy to be banished from day care during this period, but hang in there. If you’re unable to stay with Hal all day or check in on him during your workday, ask a friend to stop in and spend some time with him so he’s not by himself in the house all day.
If there’s one bright spot of news, it’s this: Once Hal recovers from puppy warts, he won’t catch them again.
Question about your pet? Contact Sam at ask@pawscorner.com
We all need to take a break from the daily grind. Evenings, weekends, holidays and vacations provide us with an opportunity to rest, recharge and recoup. Without these recovery periods, there is a greatly increased risk of burnout. Proper balance is important.
However, there is a big difference between healthy regeneration time and escaping reality to avoid dealing with issues that require some type of action. A normal break gives you the chance to reenergize in order to better handle life. The person who escapes is attempting to avoid dealing with reality altogether.
At some point, the escapist has to face those situations they tried to run away from. Given a choice, no one wants to have problems. The desire to run away from them is a normal emotion. Although escape may be appealing, there will come a time when you have to stop hiding and deal with life.
Some people escape through drug and alcohol abuse. This approach is particularly insidious as it is self-destructive, creating another whole set of problems on top of the original situation. This is one of the worst forms of escape there is.
Others escape by spending all of their time lost in their work. They become so consumed with a career or business that they neglect home and family issues. Then there are those who devote all of their free time to hobbies, sports, socializing, or other activities.
Another type of escape is moving frequently in search of a place free from problems. There is a catch with this strategy also: unresolved problems follow a person wherever they go.
Escapists make excuses justifying their behavior. They always have a reason why they aren’t addressing important issues in their life. They may even deny any problems exist at all. Escapists hide from reality by doing anything that keeps them from facing problems requiring action.
How can you tell if you are trying to escape? Start by taking an honest look at your life. What are the important unresolved issues with work and family? If you are too busy to deal with them, you may be trying to escape.
Although escaping may seem the easier route, all it does is prolong the inevitable reckoning you will face in the future. Remember, ignored problems tend to grow in severity.
So if you deceive yourself by escaping, your obstacles will increasing in intensity. Once you reach the point at which escape is no longer possible, you can have a monster that is out of control.
Escapists may seem happy. In reality they are building a house of cards whose collapse is inevitable. Escapists may even attempt to avoid responsibility for their problems by blaming other people or circumstances.
Keep your life in balance. Take breaks to recharge. Allow yourself time to identify and evaluate problems. Formulate a plan of attack before situations mushroom out of control. Abusing drugs and alcohol is never a solution. They will only exacerbate your problems with blinding speed.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.
Dear Neil: How do I get over an ex that I am still in love with? I was in a relationship with a woman for about two years before we broke up. We have tried to remain friends, and we meet for coffee from time to time. I am still in love with her, but it is not reciprocated. I often think it would be best if I just didn’t see her at all. But we live only a few blocks from each other, and it’s quite difficult to not bump into her. This is really driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do. I find myself obsessing about her. What would you recommend?
- Can’t Move On in Wellington, NZ
Dear Wellington: The biggest problem you’re describing is that you’re still in love with a woman who is no longer in love with you,and that will bring heartache to anyone. So the first thing you’re going to have to do if you want to stop feeling tortured is to quit meeting with her. It is hurting you, not helping you. The second thing is to find a way to stop loving her.
How do you stop loving someone? Well first, you’re going to have to come to terms with the loss of the relationship. You have to let her go, let go of your attachment to her, let go of your inward hope that the two of you will reconcile, and you have to let go of the dream about her having a place in your future.
Then you need to do some serious soul searching, so you can make peace with the ending of that relationship. Here are my suggestions:
• What would you say your role was in causing the problems in the relationship, or in assisting the relationship to break down? Do a thorough self-examination around this question. Without beating yourself up, make sure you hold yourself accountable for what you said, what you did and how you conducted yourself in the relationship.
• Look at what lessons the relationship has taught you. Is there anything you want to make sure you don’t do next time? What did you learn—about life and about yourself—by being in this relationship?
• Are there any relationship skills you need to get better at, such as being more articulate in your communication or in expressing your anger more appropriately? How could you improve those relationship skills now?
• Look at what you gained by being in the relationship. How are you enriched? Better? Wiser? How did this relationship assist you in being a better you? What did the relationship give you that you feel grateful for?
• Concerning your relationship, what are you willing to forgive her for? What do you want to be forgiven for?
There are also several steps you could take that would assist you in healing:
• Talk about your pain and hurt with someone who is a good listener. Talking is the first step toward healing.
• Create some new goals for yourself, and go after achieving them.• Now is the time to invite new people into your life, to strengthen your existing relationships and to reach out to other people for friendship and support.
• Figure out how to have more fun. Life is about falling down and getting back up again.
Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the Denver and Boulder, CO, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at 303.758.8777, or e-mail him from his website www.heartrelationships.com.
(l-r, front row) Frank Levanti, Charlie Walker, Matt MacGregor, Bud LaPre, Warren Rowe, Charlie Breton, Chuck Cushman, Bud Gilbert, Lenny Todd, Ed Barrs, Art LeBlanc (back row) John Beckwith, (unidentified), James Bracknell, Gaetano Mazzarella, Donald Murphy, (unidentified), Roland Pepin, John Geriak, Merrill Lozano - Korean War Vet, (unidentified), and Judd Hunter
Saturday, September 4th, 98 World War II Veterans and three Koren War Vets gathered at Rose City Senior Citizen Center, Norwich, in preparation for their trip to Washington, DC to see their Memorial on September 24. There was a buzz in the air, as the volunteers were hoping that enough money was raised for this trip! They did it! Over 2000 grateful Americans made donations to finance this “once in a lifetime” opportunity for these American Heroes!
(l-r) Brothers Isadore and Sidney Comen, Hamden, are going on the the sixth AmericanWarrior trip to visit the WWII Memorial in Washington, DC with Jack Casey, volunteer, AmericanWarrior. Loving and protecting our Great Nation is a family affair for these two brothers, who both served in WWII.
There were several familiar faces at the meeting, Representative Chris Coutu, Jack Casey, Jody Barr, Kevin Suares and Adair Hendrickson. Adair, Chris’s very first volunteer, attended every trip as a guardian and Jody, the most passionate person one could ever meet, worked tirelessly to register over 25,000 WWII Veterans on the WWII Registry!
For the sixth time since its inception in 2007, AmericanWarrior took 98 World War II Veterans, four of whom are women, to visit the memorial in our Nation’s Capitol. Traveling on the 150 passenger Airbus 320 were veterans from the following military units: 18 Air Corps, 44 Army, 30 Navy, 6 Marines and one from the Coast Guard, one Merchant Marine and they made an exception and invited three Korean War Veterans, as well!
The World War II Memorial was built in 2004 and AmericanWarrior provides the specialized, VIP travel arrangements for Veterans, for whom the average age is close to 90! It is a day trip, flying out of Bradley and the volunteers leave ‘no stone unturned,’ bringing along nearly 800 bottles of water in cargo, including 62 wheelchairs! The volunteers are humble.
(l-r) Veteran Connie Napier, New Britain, is going to visit the WWII Memorial in Washington, DC, with Team Leader Kjell Tollefsen, Killingworth, on September 25th.
Most recently, I spoke with Kevin, who takes thousands of photographs of the trips and is himself a veteran, “It’s their day.”
I noticed some volunteers overcome with emotion back in May, the first time I covered AmericanWarrior – one of my first assignments for The Resident. Now, I know why.
I had the great privilege to speak with Isadore and Sidney Comen, brothers from Hamden, both WWII vets who served in the Army. Like most of these heroes, they were merely boys when they were drafted. Izzy was living in New Haven at the time, working and was only 20 in 1942. Sidney had a six-month old baby and a new wife and was drafted at age 23 in the year 1943. Izzy spent time in the Pacific as a radio operator attached to the Air Force, while Sidney was in Europe on an anti-aircraft. “It was a great experience, but I wouldn’t want to do it again!” says Izzy.
How scary, I thought it must be to be in a foreign country at war, way before the dawn of the internet, knowing that your sibling is also away fighting a dangerous battle.
World War II Veteran Connie Nappier is the last living Tuskegee Airman in Connecticut.
“There was so much uncertainty; wondering if my brother would ever come home.” said Sidney. We both welled-up and embraced, words were no longer necessary. So powerful!
I met a man with the most extraordinary story. Imagine growing up as a young boy in America, having dreams of some day becoming a pilot. Now, let’s say it’s during a time that racism is prevalent and that this young boy is a black American. He is not allowed to fly because the government believes that academically and physically, he is inferior. This is the true story of Connie Nappier, New Britain, WWII veteran and Black Flier for the Tuskegee Airmen.
As a kid in high school, he tried to enlist, as he wanted to be part of the Tuskegee Experiment, but wasn’t permitted until graduating high school. His story is an example of a real – American Dream, setting one’s mind to something and overcoming insurmountable odds! The adversity he faced was unreal!
Connie is the last living member of the Tuskegee Airmen in Connecticut. But on this trip, he isn’t the pilot, he’s an honored guest on the plane to DC. When asked if he was looking forward to the trip, he told me, “Young lady, at my age, I look forward to everything!”
Again, a warm embrace diverted attention away from the tears streaming down my face. Connie reminded me, through his patriotism, contributions and tenacity, how lucky we all are today from the sacrifices made by heroes like him!
