I love the expression that “doing the same things and expecting different outcomes is the definition of insanity.” It is so easy to get caught-up in a tired old routine and stay there because we don’t take the time to step back, breathe, and regroup.
Since Patti Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker, laid into me at Singles’ Boot Camp on Valentine’s weekend at Mohegan Sun, I am mixing and shaking things up!
The episode of Seinfeld, where George Costanza tells Jerry that things just aren’t working out, and that he is going to do the ‘opposite’ of every instinct which naturally occurs to him is such a riot! The fact is that change is good, it might be uncomfortable, at first, but to pursue one’s best life, my best life, I am embracing change and becoming adaptable.
I am still working the chapter “Mirror Mirror” of Patti’s book, “Become Your Own Matchmaker.” I am ridding myself of all of my “jammies,” the bummer wardrobe I acquired over the last 9 years, and updating it.
I have more weight to lose, and lots to learn, but I am finally at a point where I might be open to some flirtation. I think I built a protective wall, composed of fear, anger and resentment around myself, which was probably acting like a man-deterrent, a layer of Deep Woods Off to repel men!
The truth is that, I am a woman, I am human, and finally, probably through hours upon hours of exercise, the feel good chemicals are coming back to my brain. Maybe, just maybe, I am becoming sexual again. BOW-chicka-WOW-WOW!!
Let me be honest, I am a little scared. However, I am aware that fear is the ultimate saboteur, so, rather than become a statistic, I am going to hit the streets, and investigate…where the boys are.
I ventured out of Noank and into downtown Mystic in the early evening. Although Patti suggests that one go out alone, because “those who travel in packs do not attract,” I am bringing my sister along to be my wing-woman.
I am being super-compliant with the rules of the book, but it’s been an eternity since I have dated… or flirted, and my sister anchors me.
According to Patti, groups of women scare men, and the fear of rejection in front of a large group is too much for them. Not to mention, women are competitive, and she says, your hot friend might steal the man for whom you have eyes.
There are some hip spots in downtown Mystic, with good energy and a cool, metro-vibe, thanks to some sharp, local businesspeople. We head into a place that is known for a killer happy-hour, and as we are walking in the door, a guy I have seen here and there, essentially lets the door crash on me! I check for bruises, and as we walk into the bar, we are seated adjacent to him.
I take pause, and say to myself, “different… doing things differently.” I ask the bartender to please serve our drinks on the far end of the bar, we are moving.
The Law of Attraction is very simple, and universal, and I use it every day now. We must not give attention to the things we do not want. Our “don’t wants” must be flipped around and stated in the positive. Try this: instead of “I do not want to sit next to a man who lets the door crash on me” think “I do want to sit next to people who are good-looking and appear to be having a blast!” I use this for weight loss too. It is so powerful.
“So, how do you know Brian?” says one of the three guys next to whom we are now sitting. I am thinking, that’s pretty clever, I know a lot of lines, but that is a new one.
I discover that this guy, named “Rocco,” is the Alpha-dog of his group and he is covering a lot of territory, working the room from his bar stool. He starts scribbling on a napkin. He has the bartender send it down the bar to a buxom blonde, and it says, “why r u sitting alone, when you could be sitting here with us 3. 
smiley-face” Flattered, she comes and joins the party.
We all begin chatting – the blonde shows Sis and I the fabulous handbags she bought in downtown Mystic, earlier that day – and we have an amazing time. I decide that we should move on, and check out another spot, and Rocco is relentless, asking where we are going. All six of us now, the pretty blonde included, go to the next stop.
Rocco is a flirt, but chivalrous, holding doors, and picking up the bar tab. The nice part about this part of the process is that I am not desperate. I am testing the water, trying to remember how to swim, and learning some new strokes.
With the small triumphs that The Law of Attraction has brought thus far, like the rose that Patti asked me to attract on Valentine’s weekend, perhaps I can attract my true love. He will have to be an extremely tolerant sweetheart, because I have a lot of “I Love Lucy” moments. I do not know anyone quirkier than myself! You cannot make up the things I get myself into!!
In my fantasy, witches-brew cauldron of the perfect man, I will mix the following components: the sunny personality of Matthew McConaughey – well, I won’t deduct points if he has his abs too – the wisdom of Dr. Drew Pinsky, a pioneer like Hugh Hefner, the coolness of P. Diddy, the edge of Humphrey Bogart, the sense of humor of Tracey Morgan, and the resilience of Robert Downey Jr.
What I am saying is that I need someone who is pretty dynamic, because I am a handful, even for myself. Every day, I learn more about this crazy journey, and am so blessed, to be able to share it with all of you. The one thing that is constant is change. The better equipped that I am to change, the more gratifying life will become.
Please join us 5:00pm, May 2nd at The Fisherman Restaurant in Noank to raise money for Heather Steel St. Louis! See you there!
