by Bryan Golden
Everyone has problems, challenges, adversity, and obstacles they have to deal with. Collectively, these are commonly referred to as troubles. For many, their troubles become their constant companions. They leave work and bring their troubles home. They go to work and bring the troubles from home. Wherever they go, their troubles are always by their side.
Carrying your troubles with you creates constant stress. Additionally, your mental state will repel people you interact with. You will become unpleasant to be around. You will be easily agitated. You may snap at others for no reason or at the slightest provocation.
When your troubles are always with you, there is no let up. As your frustration builds, your ability to effectively handle your problems diminishes.
Just because you have troubles doesn’t mean you have to constantly drag them with you. There are a few simple steps you can follow to break this habit. The goal is to resolve your troubles, not transport them.
There are many different aspects to your life. Besides your job, there is your home life. Next there is your work. Then, your friends. Also, there are various relatives from parents to in-laws.
Consider each aspect as a separate cabin on a ship. To prevent sinking, each cabin has a watertight door that seals it from the rest of the ship. As you move from one cabin to another, you close each door behind you.
This is the exact same strategy to use when dealing with your troubles. When you leave work, seal your work-related troubles behind you. When you leave home, do the same thing. When you get back to work, you can deal with the issues affecting you there.
There are a number of benefits to this approach. You can give each element in your life your full attention and you won’t take out your frustrations on innocent bystanders.
When you have troubles, your goal should be to resolve them, not carry them around. By compartmentalizing all of the issues you are facing, you free yourself to deal with each challenge when most appropriate. With each problem, take appropriate action. Don’t just fret and worry.
There are too many examples of someone’s marriage suffering because of their job or a job suffering because of problems at home. People who carry their troubles with them are constantly irritable and short-tempered. Their personality becomes sour. In the worst situations, these people actually endanger themselves and others. This can manifest in road rage, violent or abusive behavior, and drug and alcohol abuse.
If you are used to carrying your troubles with you, compartmentalizing will take some time and effort. The first step is developing an awareness of what your problems are and where they originate. Going through a mental checklist daily will help.
When you get into the habit of leaving your troubles behind, you will feel happier and healthier. Additionally, you will find it easier to solve your problems.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.
© Bryan Golden
