(l-r) Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker, gave Angela Olsen, Groton, advice on attracting her perfect mate at her Boot Camp.

by Angela Olsen
photo by Alexis Ann

February 14th this year, marked the return of my favorite straight-talking, no B.S. East Coast born, third-generation matchmaker, Patti Stanger of Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker.”  The Universe must have heard my pleas, because when I picked up the Resident, I discovered that Patti Stanger would be at Mohegan Sun for a book signing on Valentine’s weekend.  Her new book “Become Your Own Matchmaker:  8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate” was my Valentine to myself.

Alexis introduced Patti to readers in the last issue.  She owns The Millionaires Club, and uses old-fashioned courtship rules to help people find true love.  The rules are firm. The millionaires must take the person they select on a five-star date, and let me be clear, sex is not allowed unless the client is involved in a committed, monogamous relationship. Also, gold-digging or asking for cash is forbidden.

I am 31 and single, without a date for two years, after the breakup of a long-term relationship.  Known for her sharp tongue and not mincing words, I was curious to hear what Patti had to say.   Am I damaged goods? Too fat? A shrew?  I know that I was not getting honest answers from friends and family, and there had to be some blockage on my part to have a two-year dry spell.  When I met Patti, she told me to “Bring my A-game with questions to the Boot Camp.”

The Boot Camp was her first ever; the room was cozy, with complimentary cocktails, sort of like one of the “mixers” on her show.  There were women spanning several generations, a few straight men who were dragged along by their spouses, and a small number of gay men.  In the front of the room were “fame-seekers,” one of which was a 23-year-old woman who kept interrupting Patti, and posing à la Paris Hilton.

I listened to her fish for compliments until I nearly choked on my complimentary Bellini.  Twenty-three-year old girls, who wear a size zero do not need advice on how to meet men!  I decided to throw myself into the shark tank.

I stood up, in my ill-fitting jeans, a gray top washed too many times and my distance glasses, which I thought were quite fashionable.  Motivated by the airhead, I decided to ask a real question. “Patti, in the first chapter of your book, you say that healing from past relationships lasts for 30, 60, or 90 days.  I left a 9-year relationship in which I did not receive the commitment, aka the ring, for which I was hoping. It’s been almost two years, and I am not sure where I fit in.  I have been dressing like a ‘shlumpadinka,’ and kind of lost myself. What should I do?”

She had a field day with me – cutting me off and telling me I am depressed!  She said I am giving off bad energy, “Just listen to yourself, ‘I didn’t get the ring.’ GET OVER IT!” She said I am no longer in “Dating Detox,” but in the following chapter, “Mirror Mirror,” which is about “bringing sexy back.”

She told me to stop complaining about dressing like a shlumpadinka beacuse it gives off a negative vibe.  She told me to lose the glasses and opt for Lasik surgery or contact lenses.  Patti encouraged exercise because it produces feel-good responses in the brain.  She also suggested I purchase a product made by Panasonic which, how shall I say this delicately, will help me begin to feel sensual again.

Immediately following the Boot Camp, the fame-seekers scattered and I was bombarded by women, real, live, adult women. They were moved by my question and also by Patti’s response.  Some women felt the need to protect and comfort me, and others thanked me for asking because they had similar experiences.  I did not feel victimized, I felt empowered.  I knew that Patti Stanger was not going to sugar-coat anything for me, and that is such a massive part of her appeal!

I stopped Patti to thank her for her candor, and when we were alone, she said, “If you were hot once, you can be hot again.  You have a movie-star face. I wish I had a face like that.”  I left feeling energized, because now that I am in my thirties, I would not want to be the vapid, jaded, and self-absorbed twenty-something I once was, I like my mind so much better now, and yet I think many women can identify with a physical fall from grace.

Apparently, the power to attract the perfect mate is in my hands. It was an insightful afternoon.  I am going to implement her advice and her club rules into my own life and see where it takes me.  It was also refreshing to have a famous woman who lives in Los Angeles, surrounded by “Perfect 10’s” give me such a lovely compliment.  Honestly, it felt good!

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