“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” -Benjamin Franklin
Persistence is key to reaching your goals. But how do you know if you are on the right track or just doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results? Unfortunately, there is no easy way to know. Since there is no way to know how long it will take to reach success, there is always the uncertainty of whether you need to allow more time or alter your strategy.
Suppose you want to cut down a tree. All you have is a butter knife, so you go to work. Needless to say, you won’t make much progress. Granted, given enough time, you will be able to cut down the tree with the butter knife. At some point you have to conclude that your rate of progress is slower than you would like.
You then change to an axe or a chain saw. With a more powerful tool, you will make greater progress. Although this is a simplified example, it illustrates that you have to monitor your progress and be willing to adapt and adjust your strategy as needed. Your goal never changed, you never gave up, but you did make some adjustments with the intent of accelerating your progress.
It took Thomas Edison 10,000 attempts before he was able to create a workable electric light bulb. He didn’t keep repeating the same experiment 10,000 times. If he did so, he would never have discovered the light bulb. Repeatedly engaging in the same unsuccessful behavior, in the hope that something will work, is insane. With each new attempt, Thomas made a change. He persisted until he achieved success.
Thomas never gave up. With each unsuccessful experiment, he learned what didn’t work and then tried again with a slight adjustment. If at any time, Thomas concluded that it wasn’t possible to make an electric light work, he would have given up and failed.
Whenever you attempt something new, utilize several approaches simultaneously. Don’t try something only once before moving on to your next idea. Give each approach time to work. You can greatly reduce your frustration level by having a number of irons in the fire. But don’t have so many things going on at once that you can’t give each adequate attention.
Persistence works every time it’s applied. The only people who fail are those that give up. Be intelligent and flexible. Learn, adapt, and adjust as needed. Keep going and you will succeed.
Dear Neil: I would like your advice. My wife of 20 years (we’re both in our 50’s) complains a lot to me – about her work, about money, about her health, about growing older. I feel accused a fair amount by her: I don’t make enough money to comfortably support her so she can quit working, we don’t go to as many concerts or cultural events as she would like, we can’t afford to travel a lot and she says I’m too demanding sexually (so subsequently I get turned down a lot). My response to all of this is to get very defensive and to withdraw from her. Any other ideas about what else I could do? – Feeling Inadequate in Long Beach
Dear Long Beach: The key to a better relationship with your wife is to be more compassionate to her disappointment, hurt, fear, anger, anxiety or vulnerability. If you are sympathetic and compassionate to her feelings about money, you could commiserate with her instead of getting defensive. It would be nice to have more money, to not have to work, and to be able to afford to go to more concerts and to travel, wouldn’t it? If you looked at the situation from her point of view, you might respond with friendship, caring, warmth and empathy. A defensive or withdrawn response from you gives her the message that you care about protecting your ego more than you care about her hurt or disappointment, and that is a recipe for a more distant relationship. Imagine the following dialogue two different ways:
HER: “I’m upset that you don’t earn more money. I was so hoping that at this station in my life I could kick back and enjoy my life more, have more fun and afford to go shopping like my friends are able to do. When I have to work so many hours, I’m too tired to have fun.”
YOU (reacting defensively): “Don’t look at me. We have struggled to make ends meet for a long time. You need to tone down your expectations and not ask so much of me. I’m not Superman, and I can only earn so much.”
As reasonable as that response may be, what do you suppose her reaction to you will be: friendly and understanding, or angry and rejecting? Now imagine offering her a non-defensive, more compassionate response:
YOU: “It upsets me also. When I couldn’t find better paying work, I took what I could find. But it disappoints me also that we have to live so frugally. It must be hard on you to see other women have greater leisure time and more discretionary money to spend. I’m so sorry you’re in that position. But we have a little money to spend, and we have each other, and you still mean the world to me. Would you have any interest in going to the beach (or mountains) this weekend? What do you say?”
Between the two responses, the latter one acknowledges her feelings without dismissing them, offers validation and empathy to her disappointment, and invites her to go out and have some fun. Author Steven Stosny talks about this response in the book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It (along with Patricia Love). He says that if you substitute compassion for defensiveness, you won’t need to be defensive anymore, because looking from her perspective sensitizes you to her vulnerability and her deepest fears – and that will diminish her concerns and assist the two of you in feeling closer and more connected.
Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, CO, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at 303.758.8777, or e-mail him from his website, www.heartrelationships.com.
‘Tis the Season! And this is a national call for Christmas Care Boxes and support for the deployed troops, especially those in Afghanistan who need to hear from us the most right now. They are far away, and we need to show them they are not forgotten.
SupportOurTroops.Org makes this call on behalf of the 90+ troop support groups across America who send care packages to the troops.
Want to help? It’s simple! Just go to SupportOurTroops.Org, and click on the Christmas 2009 Care Package Icon.
• Over 90 groups are listed there.
• Just pick the one you want to send your care box goods to and follow the instructions.
• The types of things the troops request are listed there.
• The care box rules are posted there.
Isn’t it time to show them how much we care? Martin C. Boire, said “during 2009, SupportOurTroops.Org shipped over $6,000,000 in goods to the troops worldwide. To Korea, Japan, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Iraq, Qatar, Kuwait, Guam and so on.”
He continued, “The items and the money to ship them come by people across America. It is amazing to see the way people step up for their troops. If you would like to provide items for future care boxes, you can find everything you need to know posted on SupportOurTroops.Org, such at the type of things the troops appreciate, and where and how to send them to us. This shows them how much we all care. It takes money to ship these goods into war zones. People can donate on the website as well.”
Support Our Troops® is a patriotic family organization aimed at protecting the well-being of the troops and their families. They Support Us – Let’s Support Them!™ Civilian-led, SOT enthusiastically welcomes civilians, active-duty families, veterans, and folks from all political parties. We offer simple, easy, everyday methods through which folks can stick up for those who stick up for all of us: official license plates, yellow ribbons, apparel, and accessories, knowing that it works to benefit the deployed troops (our neighbors) and their families. Support Our Troops® is a nation-wide non-profit organization with chapters in 37 states to date.
It’s time to heat things up and set the holiday table for delicious food. Chef Bobby Flay has teamed up with Hellmann’s® and Best Foods® Mayonnaise to help parents prepare a holiday meal of real, nutritious ingredients the whole family will love.
Complement your holiday dinner with delicious sides that satisfy family and guests alike. Roasted New Potatoes with Blue Cheese Ranch Dressing and Green Onions are sure to please even the pickiest of palates. For an appetizing main dish even the kids will eat, try “Stuffing” Crusted Turkey Cutlets. Finish the meal with a simple, seasonal dessert like Oven Roasted Apple-Cranberry Crisp with Creamy Spiced Chantilly.
Lost when it comes to leftover ideas? Celebrate the day after the holiday by using your leftover turkey and traditional holiday sides to create a Turkey Cuban. For a simple twist on the classic day-after turkey sandwich, mix some mayonnaise with leftover cranberry relish to create a creamy cranberry sandwich spread.
For more real food recipes, tips and videos from Bobby Flay featuring simple, nutritious food you can feel good about feeding your family this holiday season, check out the Real Holiday Helpings Web series at www.hellmanns.com or www.bestfoods.com.
Turkey Cuban
Serves: 2
1/4 cup Dijonnaise
2 tablespoons leftover cranberry relish
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 slices good quality Italian bread
8 slices thinly sliced Swiss cheese
4 slices thinly sliced deli ham
6 slices leftover sliced turkey, white or dark meat or a combination
8 dill pickle slices
4 tablespoons Hellmann’s® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise
Whisk together the Dijonnaise and cranberry relish in a small bowl and season with salt and pepper.
Put the bread on a flat surface and spread each slice with some of the Dijonnaise mixture. Top 2 of the slices of bread with 1 slice of the cheese, ham, turkey another slice of cheese and pickles (in that order). Place the remaining bread on top, mayonnaise side down.
Heat a hot skillet over medium heat or a panini press. Wrap a brick in heavy duty aluminum foil (if not using a panini press).
Spread 1 tablespoon of the mayonnaise on the top of each sandwich and place in the skillet if using or in a panini press, mayonnaise-side down. Place the brick on top of the sandwiches and cook until the bottom is golden brown, about 2 minutes. Remove the brick, spread the top of the sandwiches with the remaining mayonnaise, turn over, place the brick back on top and cook until the bottom is golden brown and the cheese has melted, about 2 minutes longer. Cut in half and serve warm.
With real, simple ingredients including eggs, oil and vinegar, Hellmann’s® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise is a great complement to any post-holiday sandwich.
Roasted New Potatoes with Blue Cheese Ranch Dressing and Green Onions
Serves: 4
2 pounds new red or yellow potatoes, halved
Canola oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground black
pepper
3/4 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup Hellmann’s® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise
2 cloves finely chopped fresh garlic
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1/4 pound crumbled blue cheese
4 green onions, thinly sliced
Preheat oven to 375°F. Toss potatoes on a baking sheet with the oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast in the oven until golden brown and tender, about 25 minutes. Transfer potatoes to a platter.
Whisk together the buttermilk, mayonnaise, mustard and garlic in a bowl and season with salt and pepper. Fold in the blue cheese and green onions. Spoon the sauce over the potatoes and serve.
Oven Roasted Apple-Cranberry Crisp with Creamy Spiced Chantilly
Serves: 6
1/2 cup very cold heavy cream
3 tablespoons light brown sugar
1/4 cup Hellmann’s® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 cup plain granola
5 granny smith apples, cored and cut into eighths (about 2-1/2 pounds)
1 cup fresh or frozen, thawed cranberries
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Combine the cream and brown sugar in a bowl and whip to soft peaks with a large whisk or hand-held mixer. Whisk together the mayonnaise and cinnamon in a medium bowl and fold in the whipped cream until combined.
Preheat oven to 375°F. Combine the apples and granulated sugar in a medium baking dish and roast until slightly soft, about 15 minutes. Stir in the cranberries and cook until the apples are very soft and golden brown and the cranberries have popped and released their juices, about 15 minutes longer.
Divide the fruit into 4 bowls or goblets and sprinkle with the granola. Top each with a large dollop of the spiced chantilly mayonnaise.
Substitution: This recipe is also great when substituting 5 peaches for the apples and 1 pint of fresh raspberries for the cranberries.
“Stuffing” Crusted Turkey Cutlets
Serves: 4
2 cups panko breadcrumbs or regular dried bread crumbs
3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh flat leaf parsley
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup Hellmann’s® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
4 turkey cutlets about 1/2-inch thick
1/4 cup canola oil, divided
Combine the panko and breadcrumbs on a large plate and season with salt and pepper.
Whisk together the Mayonnaise, Dijon and poultry seasoning in a small bowl and season with salt and pepper.
Season the turkey cutlets on both sides with salt and pepper. Brush one side of each cutlet with some of the Mayonnaise mixture and coat in the breadcrumbs.
Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large nonstick sauté pan over high heat until the oil begins to shimmer. Place 2 cutlets in the pan, breading side down and cook until golden brown and a crust has formed, about 3 minutes. Flip the cutlets over and continue cooking until the bottom is golden brown and the cutlets are just cooked through, about 2 minutes longer.
by Don Church & Tony Schillaci – Critics On The Aisle™
Kathleen Thompson as Mabel and Bill Sorensen as Frederic in the CGSS Production of "Pirates Of Penzance".
One must-see musical theater event in Connecticut is the annual Connecticut Gilbert & Sullivan Society (CGSS) production that keeps alive the enjoyment of the comic operettas of this witty and satirical British musical theater duo of the late 19th Century. The timeless themes and points of view are still relevant for today’s audiences – it’s the very model of a modern major musical.
This year the CGSS’s rousing “Pirates of Penzance” was performed in Middletown High School’s magnificent new Center for the Performing Arts.
This fully mounted production was produced, directed and choreographed by CGSS Founder and Artistic Director Bob Cumming of Moodus. Among his many theatrical achievements, he directed the New York premiere of Strauss’ “Intermezzo,” G&S’s “Pinafore,” “The Pirates of Penzance,” and Victor Herbert’s “Naughty Marietta” for The Little Orchestra Society at Lincoln Center and on tour.
In this year’s CGSS show, Bob achieved another high standard of artistic and technical excellence with the show’s fine casting from leads to chorus members, and the superb production values. His expertise with Gilbert & Sullivan showed in the blocking and pacing of the performers of this tuneful action-packed production -and the successful coordination with the brilliant musical conductor, John Dreslin of Stonington, his twenty-second appearance with the company.
John always manages to take the show’s ‘pick-up’ musicians and, with a minimum of rehearsal time, within a minute into the overture they’re as good as a well-established symphony orchestra.
The ten principle players and the forty or so ladies, pirates, and police were all fully into every moment of the play whether they had a line, a song, or were there as onlookers. This brings
the whole show to life and fully engages the audience. We’ve seen Equity shows that didn’t reach this depth of characterization, control and concentration in performance. Again, it’s Bob’s strong and capable directing, with contributions from his co-producers Annlee Sortland and Leighton Phraner.
Heading the Connecticut cast of principals is Don Shirer (Westbrook) as the Major General, Hal Chernoff (Simsbury) as The Pirate King, Kathleen Thompson (Hebron) as Mabel, David Henderson (Middletown) and Cameron Phillips (Fairfield) as Samuel, Bill Sorensen (Guilford) and Jeff Soun Long (Middletown) as Frederic, Mike Reynolds (Meriden) as Sgt. of Police, Carol Connolly (New Haven) and Betty Olson (Glastonbury) as Ruth. Supporting roles were well played by Renée Haines (Southington), Katherine Yeager (Middletown), Marissa Lovely (East Hampton), Amanda Ziegler (Chester), and Katie Corbett (Plainville).
The stand-out performance of the evening was leading lady Kathleen Thompson as Mabel. As always she lights up the stage and fills it with her presence from her first entrance to her final scene. Kathleen is a superb actress, glorious singer, and a lovely dancer.
Don Shirer (The “very model of a modern major general”) was delightful. Hal Chernoff became a believable and delightfully roguish Pirate King. Bill Sorensen (Frederic) can always be counted on to give his all in the many different parts we’ve seen him play. His understudy, Jeff Soun Long, played a minor part the night we saw the show, and once again showed great potential for a long and successful stage career, as he did in his debut in last year’s G&S production of Patience. He’s a senior at Middletown High School while continuing to hone his theater skills and get the essential experience of performing in front of a live audience.
Founded in 1980, the CG&SS has made its home in Middletown since 1990, adding immeasurably to the city’s and the state’s cultural life. The annual performances are in the fall, and done with Broadway-quality orchestra, singers, costumes, sets and now with state-of –art sound and lighting equipment in the new and well-designed theater.
We are lucky to have so many professional Equity theaters in the state, but the CG&SS is a much-needed showcase for Connecticut’s talented non-equity singers, directors, designers, instrumentalists and stage technicians who make a living at other professions and others who are in school.
Don’t miss next year’s production – whatever it is. To get on the mailing list, contribute, or join in any capacity, contact the Connecticut Gilbert & Sullivan Society at www.ctgilbertandsullivan.org.
This review was published November 25 by The Resident, covering southeastern CT and southern RI. The writers, Critics On The Aisle ™, are members of the Connecticut Critics Circle, www.ctcritics.org.
