There are two opposing forces within you. One is positive, the other negative. The dominant force is the one that determines the path your life takes. Most people are unaware of this conflict, or worse yet, allow the negative to rule them.
Developing an awareness of your thoughts and emotions is essential to cultivating the positive ones, while allowing the others to wither. Your quality of life is directly related to the outcome of your inner battle.
The negative emotions are anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, superiority, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. These repel good and attract negative.
Anger clouds your judgement. It impairs your ability to make rational decisions. To minimize, or hopefully eliminate, feelings of anger, remember you can’t controls the actions of others, but you can control your reaction.
Whenever you want what someone else has, you experience envy and jealousy. It doesn’t matter what others have. Devote your efforts to pursuing your own goals.
People who constantly feel sorrow or regret are spending too much time in the past. These feelings emanate from events that are over. In order to move forward, decide where you are going from here. If you remain chained to the past, you will sacrifice your future.
Greed is self-absorption. Greedy people are only concerned about their own needs. They are often willing to act in an unscrupulous manner. Greed repels happiness. To get what you want, help others get what they need.
A person who is arrogant believes they are better than others. The attitude of superiority they radiate repels people. You are not better than anyone, and no one is better than you.
Victims feel self-pity. You are not a victim, you are in charge of and in control of your life. If you are not happy with your circumstances, change them. Don’t blame others or expect someone else to solve your problems.
Guilt can be self-imposed or precipitated by others. Guilt can be related to things you have done or connected to a decision you are about to make. If you make the best decision possible, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Resentment serves no purpose. You may not like what has happened, or the manner in which you have been treated. Being resentful won’t make you feel any better. You will only feel bitter. Regardless of whatever has happened, keep focused on what you want to do next.
Thinking you are not good enough produces feelings of inferiority. You feel others are better or more important. This leads you to sell yourself short, often settling for much less than is warranted.
A life based on lies has no foundation and will soon crumble. Don’t do anything you are ashamed of. There is never a need to lie about who you are or what you do. If you believe there is, you need to make some changes.
Feeding one’s ego turns off other people. Don’t brag about what you do or what you have. If your motivation is to impress others, you will never be happy, and ironically, no one will be impressed. It really doesn’t matter what other people think.
In the next two columns, I will continue and write about the positive emotions.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at email@example.com or write him c/o this paper. 2006 Bryan Golden