“The greatest scientists are always artists as well.”
- Albert Einstein
David Randall Hinkle June 4,1930 - July 27, 2009
David Randall Hinkle, CDR USN (Ret.), passed on at home on Monday, July 27 surrounded by his wife, Muriel, of 55 years, and three daughters, Valerie Hinkle Piland, Janet Lee Hinkle and Sally Russell. Dave was diagnosed with lung cancer in early 2008.
The Stonington resident is perhaps best known for founding Sonalysts Inc. with Muriel, but there was so much more to Dave: cowboy, rancher, sailor, author, loyal friend, patriot, confidant, husband and father.
Dave was born in Texas in 1930 and was raised as a farm boy on a West Texas ranch. He had a rich Navy career, including three years as the commander of the submarine USS Pargo. He enlisted in the Navy in 1948 and entered the US Naval Academy by fleet appointment. Dave met Muriel at a tea party in Texas. The couple married shortly after his graduation in June 1954.
After retiring from active duty in the Navy, Dave went on to law school at UConn. Instead of pursing his law degree, in 1973 Dave and Muriel founded Sonalysts Inc. – a company that combined Dave’s experience with sonar and data analysis with Muriel’s business skills. Together they turned a small defense firm operating from a guest cottage behind their Waterford home into a greatly successful, diversified company with 400 employees and 18 offices nationally. It services range from defense operations analysis and tactical development to music and film production.
Dave and Muriel were honored for their business practices with the SBA Administrator’s Award for Excellence in 1986 and as a finalist in the Entrepreneur of the Year competition sponsored by Ernst & Young, IBM, Merrill Lynch, US Trust, and Inc. Magazine in 1994. They were also awarded the Chamber of Commerce of Eastern Connecticut’s William Crawford Distinguished Service Award in 2002.
In April 2002, Dave was the editorial director for “United States Submarine Force” – a book that combines coffee-table elegance, meticulous operations history, exciting sea stories, and well-researched tales of technology development throughout the history of the “Silent Service.”
“It’s a labor of love,” Dave told the Resident in an interview 10-years ago. “We are reflecting, accurately, the lives of people who went to sea and telling the story of the flavor of their experience. It’s a responsibility we take very seriously.”
Dave was a member of the Naval Submarine League and the Submarine Force Library & Museum Association. He was also a member of Ariston and the Thames Club.
Services were held on August 1 at the Shepherd of the Sea Navy Chapel, Groton. Burial with full military honors followed at Elm Grove Cemetery, Mystic.
Dave was a friend of the Resident. His support for the “Good News” will be missed but never forgotten.
Donations may be made to Hospice Southeastern Connecticut, 227 Dunham Street, Norwich, 06360.
DEAR PAWS4PETS: Like everyone else, I’m trying to save money these days, and so I want to cut back on the number of trips my Cocker Spaniel “Jake” takes to the groomer. I take him once a week now. Do you have any grooming tips? – Sally in Pittsburgh
DEAR SALLY: Taking on some grooming tasks yourself can save quite a bit of money and can even make you more aware of Jake’s health. Regular grooming will make you familiar with his coat and skin, and you’ll notice changes that a groomer might miss.
Here are some general grooming instructions to follow:
• Brush your dog’s coat regularly: Long-haired breeds should be brushed out daily to prevent matting; medium- and short-haired dogs can be brushed weekly.
• Check your dog’s ears each time he’s brushed, particularly if he has long, floppy ears. Look for debris in the outer ear and note if the ears have any odor, signaling possible yeast or bacterial infection (consult the vet if you notice an odor). Gently sweep dirt or other debris away from the ear canal using a clean cloth soaked in mineral oil.
• Discharge at the corners of a dog’s eyes can be gently wiped away using a cotton ball soaked in cool water.
• Brush your dog’s teeth regularly. Use only toothbrushing gear designed for dogs.
• A weekly bath is fine for most dogs. Don’t use human shampoos; use shampoo specifically formulated for dogs.
• Nails should be trimmed once a month. If you want to try it yourself, have the groomer show you how to safely trim Jake’s nails.
Just these basic grooming steps will keep Jake looking good between visits to the professional groomer. More tips are available from the American Kennel Club at www.akc.org/public_education/grooming.cfm.
Circumstances can be annoying. Your car won’t start. You wind up on the slowest checkout line at the supermarket. You can’t find something. It rains all weekend.
The actions of others can also be annoying. Another person is rude. Someone doesn’t hold the door. A car cuts you off. People are talking during a movie. Your boss is in a bad mood. The list of irritations is practically endless. They have an uncanny tendency to pop up at the worst times.
It’s virtually impossible to get through a day without encountering someone or something annoying. Your frame of mind at the time of an annoyance determines your reaction, or whether you react at all.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, the smallest annoyance can seem overwhelming.
Small, insignificant happenings then feel like major events. As a result, you may overreact which can exacerbate the impact of an originally minor annoyance. When minor events get blown out of proportion, they transform into major situations.
It is hard to be happy when you are constantly feeling annoyed. People who are miserable find they encounter an endless stream of crisis situations. In reality, they are merely overreacting to what are minor annoyances to those in a good frame of mind.
Left unchecked, annoyances will spiral out of control until they become a major event. Rude, or even unintentional behavior, can trigger uncontrolled anger that can have tragic results. When you allow you emotions to go haywire, you will say or do things you may, at the very least, regret.
When you are in good spirits, annoyances don’t seem to matter much, if at all. With an upbeat attitude, you just shrug things off. Also, you tend to find solutions much more readily than when you are stressed.
What techniques can you use to keep life’s annoyances from becoming major calamities? Start by keeping things in perspective. You know when a situation is an annoyance rather than a major event. Stay calm. Say to yourself, “this is no big deal.” Let it go. Don’t allow your ego to take over.
Don’t be paranoid. A “why does this always happen to me” attitude won’t accomplish anything positive. People are not out to get you. You are not being targeted. Everyone has to deal with annoyances. You’ve gotten past them before and you will do so again.
Allow annoyances to roll off your back. Annoyances will always be a part of your life. Look to always make the best of a situation. Laugh more. There is some humor in virtually every situation. The more you let the small stuff go, the happier you will be.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. 2006 Bryan Golden
Dear Neil: I am in my late 70’s and have been married 45 years. My wife and I have raised three children, have helped raised four grandchildren, went bankrupt, grew a successful business, and paid off our house. We have endured births, stillbirths, financial setbacks, an affair, life-threatening illnesses and deaths of people important to us – and through all of that we have maintained a strong commitment to each other.
But I don’t feel we’re close. We rarely talk about how we feel, about what pains us, about regrets, about sadness, about how we feel regarding growing older, about our fears and about what we want from our remaining years. We are still sexually intimate, but we’re not close. Our lives together have long since become a collection of roles, chores, duties and routines. But once upon a time we were wild about each other and we had the closeness I long for.
Is there anything we can still do to improve the connection and intimacy between us, or is it too late?
- Not Feeling Fulfilled in New Zealand
Dear New Zealand: My first suggestion is to look closely at the relationship you once had with your wife, because that will point you in the direction of what you may need to do once again.
Did the two of you make each other feel special? How did you do that? Did you make her feel smarter, prettier, funnier, more sexually attractive? Did you show genuine interest in her happiness? Admire and value her special, unique traits? Did you support her emotionally so she knew she didn’t have to face life’s challenges alone? Were you a consistent advocate for her and her loyal friend? Were you the top person in her fan club? What did you say and do to communicate your admiration? Pay attention to those questions, because that’s what I’d recommend you aim for now and into the future.
Ellen Wachtel, author of “We Love Each Other But….” (St Martin’s Griffin) not only asks those questions, but offers the simple truth that we love and feel close to those people who make us feel good ourselves. That means that not feeling appreciated by our partner can erode our feelings for each other, especially over time. So give her those expressions of appreciation and respect yet again. Many people fail to understand that it is essential to continue to make their partner feel admired, liked and valued day in and day out, year after year. Especially look for what you saw in her that caused you to fall in love with her in the beginning-and whether any of those traits and qualities are still there now. If so, rediscover what they are, and verbalize them to your wife.
In addition, communicate to your spouse what you think is going right in your relationship, what you like about the relationship and about her, and what you still enjoy about being with her. Do the two of you sometimes still have fun together? If so, express appreciation or gratitude for those times.
Notice and call attention to interactions and behaviors that you like and admire. With practice, you will develop a keen eye for such observations. Therefore, consciously try to observe and verbalize what you think is positive about your partner. When you commit to doing this, you are likely to see a lot more than you thought was there.
I will continue this discussion in next week’s column.
Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, CO, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at 303.758.8777, or e-mail him from his website, www.heartrelationships.com.
Naval veteran Ernie Plantz, a member of the Groton Submarine Veterans, participated in the VJ Day Parade in Plainfield on Sunday, August 9. Ernie is a WWII veteran. During the war, he was taken prisoner by the Japanese, and was later awarded the Bronze Star for his valor. Ernie was also enshrined in the CT Veterans Hall of Fame.
Many organizations and people in the community made it out to participate and watch the parade and celebrate victory over Japan.
