Elizabeth A. “Beth” Loomis passed away Friday, May 1 peacefully with family at her side. She is survived by her daughter Kelly S. Loomis, East Haddam; brothers Jay Loomis, Florida, and Paul Loomis, East Lyme, her beloved grandson Quinn McKenna, East Haddam;  nieces; nephews; great nieces; and great nephews. Beth retired from Aetna Insurance Co. and was very active in the East Haddam area, operating a full service maintenance business. She loved writing and wrote articles and columns for local newspapers, including the Resident. She was a history enthusiast and did research for the CT Historical Society. She enjoyed the outdoors and traveling with her family and dear friend Laura McClure. She dedicated her time helping the local Boy Scouts, which was a priority in her life. A Celebration of Life Service was held Saturday, May 9 in East Haddam at First Church Of Christ Congregational. Donations can be made in her name to the Boy Scouts, Troop #22, P.O. Box 697, Moodus, CT 06469.

Bookmark to:

Robert R. Birge, The Harold S. Schwenk, Sr., Distinguished Chair in Chemistry, UConn, won the 2009 CT Medal of Science, the State’s highest award for scientists. Frank W. Ridley, chairman, Board of Governors for Higher Education, presented the award at the annual meeting of the CT Academy of Science and Engineering in Windsor Locks on May 20.

The CT Medal of Science, modeled after the National Medal of Science, was created by the state legislature to recognize extraordinary achievements in scientific fields crucial to CT’s economic competitiveness. The awards are made by the Board of Governors for Higher Education, the state’s policy-making agency for CT colleges and universities, with assistance from the CT Academy of Science and Engineering.

Bookmark to:

by Neil Rosenthal

Note:  This is the first of a two-part series.

My wife and I have been married twenty five years, but every so often I talk about separating and/or divorcing because I am unhappy with our relationship and the way my wife acts.  Does commitment waver for couples depending on the issue?  Are there degrees of commitment which are dependent on getting your needs met? – Unhappy in New Zealand

Dear New Zealand:  Take a soul-searching look at your commitment by pondering the questions that follow.  Be thorough in your responses in order to get a clear picture of your current commitment to your wife:

• What would you be willing to do for your wife (that she has said she would like) that could change the way your wife sees you?

• If somehow you inherited $50 million dollars, would you stay in this relationship?

• If you knew that you could be in a relationship with any other person who would love you undyingly, is this the partner you would choose?

• If you knew for sure you were going to live to age 100 and be in good health, is this the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with?

• Are you a person who generally keeps commitments?

• When you look at other couples, do you compare your relationship favorably?

• Have the two of you combined your money?

• Are you completely honest about your spending?

• Do you consult each other on important matters?

• Have you closed your mind to pursuing attraction to others?

• Do you see yourself with this person throughout life?

• Do you automatically think as a couple?

• Do you weigh personal decisions against implications for you and your partner?

• Do you and your partner consult with one another on a regular basis?

• Do you compare your partner favorably with others?

• Are large possessions viewed as jointly owned?

• Do your friends support your relationship?

• Does your family support your relationship?

• Do you speak favorably about your relationship to your closest friends?

• Do you wear a wedding ring?

• Do you have a joint will?

• In the case of death, have you made arrangements together?

• Do you think of your wife as your soul mate or the best match you could find?

• If you had a chance to start over, would you start with this person?

• Do you and your partner treat your relationship as a priority?

These questions were borrowed from Pat Love’s book The Truth About Love (Fireside).  She says that commitment means that you have the right to expect your partner to meet some of your needs some of the time.  The above questions may assist you in understanding your reluctance to be fully committed to your wife, and where you might consider expanding your commitment.  You don’t have to answer “yes” to all the questions, but love is hard to grow if you are on the fence about whether you wish to be in the relationship at all.

I will continue this discussion in next week’s column.

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, CO, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships.  He can be reached at 303.758.8777, or e-mail him from his website, www.heartrelationships.com.

Bookmark to:

by Bryan Golden

Many readers of my book and column asked the following questions regarding their own application of the concepts I write about.  Here are the most commonly asked questions and my answers.

• Does how I think really make that much of a difference in my life?

Yes.  Your thoughts are the only thing you have total control over.  Your thoughts govern your behavior.  Your thoughts determine how you react to your environment.  Your thoughts effect the type of people you attract.  Your thoughts influence every aspect of your life.

Not taking proactive control of your thoughts is the same as attempting to drive a car with the windshield painted black.  Although you will wind up somewhere, it’s probably not going to be where you want to be.

• Will a positive mindset make my life better?

Yes. A positive mindset has numerous benefits.  It helps you overcome obstacles.  A positive mindset keeps you motivated and prevents you from giving up.  With a positive mindset you will find a solution for every problem.  Additionally, there are no negative side effects to a positive attitude.

On the other hand, a negative outlook is a constant impediment to your having the life you want.  There are absolutely no advantages to having a negative attitude.  With a negative attitude, you will find problems in every situation.

• I tried positive thinking but nothing happened.

Positive thinking is just the first step.  Positive thinking is the fuel.  Action is the engine.  Unless your thoughts are followed by action, little will happen.  Positive thinking must be followed by positive action.

You will be disappointed if you just wait for good things to happen.  You have to take the necessary action to make them happen.  The people who tried positive thinking to no avail did not take the all important action step.

• There are things I really want but I haven’t gotten them.

Results don’t materialize immediately.  Some things will happen quickly while others will take more time.  You never know how long something will take so you must keep working toward your goals.

If you give up, you guarantee the results you want will never happen.  Just because you may not yet be at your desired destination, you never stop traveling along the path to get there.  The exact distance you have to go is the unknown.

• Things just don’t work out for me.  What’s wrong?

If one thing doesn’t work, you have to try something else.  But before you conclude something didn’t work, make sure it’s not that you didn’t allow enough time.  Too many people try something once and then immediately declare their efforts a failure.

So you may have to allow more time or you might need to alter your strategy.  It’s not a science and there is no magic answer.  Persistence and determination is a key to success.

• How can I stop people from criticizing me?

You can’t.  You have no control over, nor does it matter, what others say, think, or do.  Regardless of what you do, you will be criticized.  Live your life the way you want to and don’t worry about getting approval.

When you are hobbled by the fear of criticism, you limit your life in order to meet the expectations of others.  People who do this become very unhappy and frustrated.

• How can I keep from getting discouraged?

Feeling discouraged and frustrated at times is normal.  Even the most positive, driven, and upbeat people experience it.  Your objective is not to let those emotions derail you.  The feelings will pass.  The more action you take, the more fleeting will be the frustration.  Never, ever give up.  Keep going, especially when you don’t feel like it.

NOW AVAILABLE:  “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.   2006 Bryan Golden

Bookmark to:

by Don Greene

In the last safety piece, I wrote that there is no right of way allowed. That statement holds true. However, there is a condition called “The Pecking Order” that will help you to safely pass a vessel under the following prioritized conditions.

Priority Number 1 is Vessel Not Under Command (NUC) vessel. Lower ranked vessels must always give way to vessels ranked higher on the pecking list. The least maneuverable NUC vessel ran aground, lost steerage or lost engine power. Stay well clear of the NUC vessel as you pass to continue your voyage.

The next more maneuverable vessel is a vessel that is Restricted in their Ability to Maneuver, (RAM). An example of a RAM vessel; performing under sea operations like laying or picking up mines, dredging or picking up and servicing buoys or vessels with a stern tow.

The next vessel in the Pecking order is the Constrained by Draft (CBD). The CBD is concerned with the amount of water under its keel and the possibilty of running aground, thus, constrained by draft.

The next vessel is the Fishing vessel. To maintain his position in the pecking order, this vessel must have twirls traps and lines down.

The next is a Sailing vessel under wind power. If the boat elects to turn on his engines, he becomes a powerboat.

A Power vessel is next in the pecking order. This includes any vessel that has an engine.

The most maneuverable vessel is a Seaplane. This vessel can land in the water and on land. If you see a seaplane getting ready to land, stay well clear of his approach.

There is a white covered book called the Rules of Navigation, available for $10.00, that has all of the rules and the additional lights for navigation at night.  If your vessel is 39.4’ or more you are required to have this book on board at all times.

Maritime law says you are obligated to offer assistance to the vessel in trouble. The good samaritan law offers you protection, providing you do not endanger your crew and passengers or your vessel, or put your self in harm’s way. If you would like a free vessel safety inspection, please call 860.608.1075.

Bookmark to: