by Bryan Golden
Many readers of my book and column asked the following questions regarding their own application of the concepts I write about. Here are the most commonly asked questions and my answers.
• Does how I think really make that much of a difference in my life?
Yes. Your thoughts are the only thing you have total control over. Your thoughts govern your behavior. Your thoughts determine how you react to your environment. Your thoughts effect the type of people you attract. Your thoughts influence every aspect of your life.
Not taking proactive control of your thoughts is the same as attempting to drive a car with the windshield painted black. Although you will wind up somewhere, it’s probably not going to be where you want to be.
• Will a positive mindset make my life better?
Yes. A positive mindset has numerous benefits. It helps you overcome obstacles. A positive mindset keeps you motivated and prevents you from giving up. With a positive mindset you will find a solution for every problem. Additionally, there are no negative side effects to a positive attitude.
On the other hand, a negative outlook is a constant impediment to your having the life you want. There are absolutely no advantages to having a negative attitude. With a negative attitude, you will find problems in every situation.
• I tried positive thinking but nothing happened.
Positive thinking is just the first step. Positive thinking is the fuel. Action is the engine. Unless your thoughts are followed by action, little will happen. Positive thinking must be followed by positive action.
You will be disappointed if you just wait for good things to happen. You have to take the necessary action to make them happen. The people who tried positive thinking to no avail did not take the all important action step.
• There are things I really want but I haven’t gotten them.
Results don’t materialize immediately. Some things will happen quickly while others will take more time. You never know how long something will take so you must keep working toward your goals.
If you give up, you guarantee the results you want will never happen. Just because you may not yet be at your desired destination, you never stop traveling along the path to get there. The exact distance you have to go is the unknown.
• Things just don’t work out for me. What’s wrong?
If one thing doesn’t work, you have to try something else. But before you conclude something didn’t work, make sure it’s not that you didn’t allow enough time. Too many people try something once and then immediately declare their efforts a failure.
So you may have to allow more time or you might need to alter your strategy. It’s not a science and there is no magic answer. Persistence and determination is a key to success.
• How can I stop people from criticizing me?
You can’t. You have no control over, nor does it matter, what others say, think, or do. Regardless of what you do, you will be criticized. Live your life the way you want to and don’t worry about getting approval.
When you are hobbled by the fear of criticism, you limit your life in order to meet the expectations of others. People who do this become very unhappy and frustrated.
• How can I keep from getting discouraged?
Feeling discouraged and frustrated at times is normal. Even the most positive, driven, and upbeat people experience it. Your objective is not to let those emotions derail you. The feelings will pass. The more action you take, the more fleeting will be the frustration. Never, ever give up. Keep going, especially when you don’t feel like it.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at email@example.com or write him c/o this paper. 2006 Bryan Golden