For the 21st year, a group of volunteer American Heart Association instructors boarded the Fisher’s Island Ferry on April 17th out of New London.  The instructors travelled to the K-12 Fisher’s Island School to instruct CPR and defibrillator use to students and staff.  This annual event is orchestrated by George Fargo, Mystic, a retired Electric Boat Fire Fighter/Inspector and Emergency Medical Service Instructor.  This year’s group of instructors included Gerrie Richards, Charles Maxon, Chery Gilot, Keith Richards, Ken Fargo and Catherine Fargo.  Catherine, 17, Griswold High School Senior, is the newest instructor to the group.

Bookmark to:

Norwich Public Schools BRIDGES Program Staff, and students from Uncas and Moriarty Schools, were among the first to examine the autograph book kept by Frances Manwaring Caulkins and an album of pressed “Sea-Mosses” that was presented to Ms. Caulkins in 1860.

The two books will remain on display at the Leffingwell House Museum, Norwich, throughout the Norwich 350th Anniversary Celebration.

Ms. Caulkins (1795-1869) was a prolific writer centering literary attention on two radically different areas of concern: the religious education of young people and local history.

Ms. Caulkins is well known for writing The History of Norwich, Connecticut, from Its Settlement in 1660 to January, 1845.

Bookmark to:

Elizabeth A. “Beth” Loomis passed away Friday, May 1 peacefully with family at her side. She is survived by her daughter Kelly S. Loomis, East Haddam; brothers Jay Loomis, Florida, and Paul Loomis, East Lyme, her beloved grandson Quinn McKenna, East Haddam;  nieces; nephews; great nieces; and great nephews. Beth retired from Aetna Insurance Co. and was very active in the East Haddam area, operating a full service maintenance business. She loved writing and wrote articles and columns for local newspapers, including the Resident. She was a history enthusiast and did research for the CT Historical Society. She enjoyed the outdoors and traveling with her family and dear friend Laura McClure. She dedicated her time helping the local Boy Scouts, which was a priority in her life. A Celebration of Life Service was held Saturday, May 9 in East Haddam at First Church Of Christ Congregational. Donations can be made in her name to the Boy Scouts, Troop #22, P.O. Box 697, Moodus, CT 06469.

Bookmark to:

Robert R. Birge, The Harold S. Schwenk, Sr., Distinguished Chair in Chemistry, UConn, won the 2009 CT Medal of Science, the State’s highest award for scientists. Frank W. Ridley, chairman, Board of Governors for Higher Education, presented the award at the annual meeting of the CT Academy of Science and Engineering in Windsor Locks on May 20.

The CT Medal of Science, modeled after the National Medal of Science, was created by the state legislature to recognize extraordinary achievements in scientific fields crucial to CT’s economic competitiveness. The awards are made by the Board of Governors for Higher Education, the state’s policy-making agency for CT colleges and universities, with assistance from the CT Academy of Science and Engineering.

Bookmark to:

by Neil Rosenthal

Note:  This is the first of a two-part series.

My wife and I have been married twenty five years, but every so often I talk about separating and/or divorcing because I am unhappy with our relationship and the way my wife acts.  Does commitment waver for couples depending on the issue?  Are there degrees of commitment which are dependent on getting your needs met? – Unhappy in New Zealand

Dear New Zealand:  Take a soul-searching look at your commitment by pondering the questions that follow.  Be thorough in your responses in order to get a clear picture of your current commitment to your wife:

• What would you be willing to do for your wife (that she has said she would like) that could change the way your wife sees you?

• If somehow you inherited $50 million dollars, would you stay in this relationship?

• If you knew that you could be in a relationship with any other person who would love you undyingly, is this the partner you would choose?

• If you knew for sure you were going to live to age 100 and be in good health, is this the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with?

• Are you a person who generally keeps commitments?

• When you look at other couples, do you compare your relationship favorably?

• Have the two of you combined your money?

• Are you completely honest about your spending?

• Do you consult each other on important matters?

• Have you closed your mind to pursuing attraction to others?

• Do you see yourself with this person throughout life?

• Do you automatically think as a couple?

• Do you weigh personal decisions against implications for you and your partner?

• Do you and your partner consult with one another on a regular basis?

• Do you compare your partner favorably with others?

• Are large possessions viewed as jointly owned?

• Do your friends support your relationship?

• Does your family support your relationship?

• Do you speak favorably about your relationship to your closest friends?

• Do you wear a wedding ring?

• Do you have a joint will?

• In the case of death, have you made arrangements together?

• Do you think of your wife as your soul mate or the best match you could find?

• If you had a chance to start over, would you start with this person?

• Do you and your partner treat your relationship as a priority?

These questions were borrowed from Pat Love’s book The Truth About Love (Fireside).  She says that commitment means that you have the right to expect your partner to meet some of your needs some of the time.  The above questions may assist you in understanding your reluctance to be fully committed to your wife, and where you might consider expanding your commitment.  You don’t have to answer “yes” to all the questions, but love is hard to grow if you are on the fence about whether you wish to be in the relationship at all.

I will continue this discussion in next week’s column.

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, CO, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships.  He can be reached at 303.758.8777, or e-mail him from his website, www.heartrelationships.com.

Bookmark to: