As you navigate out into Fishers Island Sound, you look around the boat to make sure you have everything you need for a great afternoon of fishing: bait, case of coke, jug of drinking water and sandwiches for everybody.
Make sure you discuss with your guests and crew what each person will be expected to do in the event of an emergency, such as: persons overboard in the water, fishhook in the body, cuts and scrapes, sunstroke and hypothermia.
All of these situations we will cover in the next three or four monthly Resident printings along with seamanship and navigation.
Are you ready for a free vessel safety inspection? Call Donald Greene, support officer, Mystic Flotilla USCG Auxiliary at 860.608.1075. We will come to your boat and perform the inspection with you in attendance.
The U.S. Coast Guard Station, New London, calls upon the Coast Guard Auxiliary Mystic Flotilla #25-3 to provide as much training as possible for the boating public. I will cover as many topics in basic operation and navigation of your vessel as possible in the time and space available.
The increase in boat owners and boat operators on the waters of RI and CT without a boating license increases the amount of boating accidents resulting in death by drowning.
In most cases, wearing a lifejacket is the difference between a harrowing experience and a devastated family.
The boating “rules of the road” are not that much different from automobile rules. For example, keep as close as you can to the right side of the channel when you are coming in from sea.
By taking a safe boating course, you’ll learn about the importance of bouys. Here are a few things to start you off. Coming in from sea, the red buoys are even numbered starting with #R-2. The green buoys are odd numbered.
Going to sea, you bring the green buoys down your right side. When approaching a buoy stay well clear of it, at least 4 feet. If the current or wind is pushing the buoy toward you do a 360-degree visual check if, clear turn to starboard or port, increase your speed enough to clear the buoy.
Determination is an essential component of all accomplishments. Determination is the drive that keeps you going in spite of obstacles and adversity. Determination is your mental adrenaline. When the going gets tough, determination will keep you going. If you feel discouraged, tap into your determination.
The more intense your determination, the more effective it will be. Determination is not casual. It is a deep-seated desire to succeed. A person without determination will give up at the first difficulty. “I’ll give it a try,” is not a statement made by a determined person. Rather they will proclaim, “I’ll get it done.”
Attempting to reach a goal without determination is no different than trying to drive a car without fuel. When driving, in order to go up hill you must give it more gas. When facing an obstacle, you have to use determination to overcome it.
Can you imagine an Olympic skier about to start his down hill run telling himself, “I’ll just give this a try and see what happens.” Of course not. Anyone with that attitude would be lucky to just finish the course.
Every competitive athlete is determined to win. No contestant enters his or her event without the goal of victory. An individual with sheer determination can finish ahead of someone with more natural physical ability.
What about a person starting her own business? If she is going to succeed, she has to be determined to do whatever is necessary. If she just put up an open sign and waits for customers, the odds for success are very slim.
Invariably, it’s the determined business owner who succeeds. She puts in the time and makes whatever sacrifices are necessary to make her enterprise prosper. Just like the athlete, the successful business person envisions victory before the doors even open.
A determined job candidate will often be hired over someone with more experience but lacking a resolve to excel. Many employers realize that although most people can be taught job skills it’s virtually impossible to instill determination.
As children we are told stories of the power of determination. The tortoise and the hare, the little train engine that could, David and Goliath, to name just a few. As you mature, you forget these lessons.
You allow yourself to get discouraged at the very point where you need to apply more determination rather than give up. Unless you give your car enough gas, not only will you be unable to make it up a hill, you risk rolling backwards.
Especially if you stumble and fall, use your determination to get back up. Don’t make excuses. Don’t blame anyone or anything. Just get back on track. It’s not magic, it is determination. You may forget how to use it, but it’s inside you.
So when these people subsequently fall short of success, they conclude they are a failure when in fact they were chasing the wrong dreams. Without a change in strategy, they are destined to an endless cycle of frustration. Make sure you are on the right path. Fire up your determination. Keep going and never give up.
NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. 2006 Bryan Golden
The following is a continuation of ideas about how to deepen a relationship. Take turns talking together about your feelings, concerns, wishes and expectations regarding:
• How much effort do you expect each person to give to the relationship? How should it be dealt with if one person feels the other isn’t making much of an effort?
• What’s fun to you? How could you expand your notion of what’s fun? What role should having fun or play have in your relationship on a daily/weekly/monthly basis?
•What helps you to feel loved, valued and cared for? What assists you in feeling close and connected? What interferes?
• Of what priority are travel and vacations to you? The frequency of travel? Where you wish to travel to?
• How important is neatness, cleanliness, appearance and personal hygiene to you?
• What priority does work take in your life? What priority should it take? What happens when one person feels the other is too consumed by work or that the relationship is becoming subordinate to and less important than work?
• When you become crabby, irritable, short-tempered or hard to be around, what would you like your partner to say or do? What should he/she not say or do?
• If there are children/grandchildren in your life or if you’re wanting there to be children in your future-what role would you like your significant other to play? How would you like disagreements to be resolved about how to parent or how to discipline?
• How trusting of other people is your partner? What behaviors in your relationship would violate trust? To what extent do you have to continually prove that you’re trustworthy to each other? What needs to happen if trust were ever to be ruptured in your relationship?
• How would you like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and special occasions to be honored?
• What would you like to see happen if ever there was a breakdown in communication, or if the connection between the two of you were to become weaker?
• How important is daily non-sexual affection to you? What is the right balance between the giving and receiving of affection? How should it be handled if affection were to become strained or diminished?
• What role does spirituality play in your relationship? What role would you like to play?
• Have your previous intimate relationships had major trust issues? How about issues around control? Honesty? Fidelity? Integrity? Sex? Money? Children? Family? Common interests? Time spent together? Poor communication? Loss of connection? If any of these issues were to become important in this relationship, how would you like them to be handled?
• Who’s primarily responsible for household chores (cooking, dishes, laundry, childcare, keeping the house straightened up and clean, shopping, yard work, etc)? How do you want these tasks to be allocated?
• What are your feelings about sex, including frequency, fidelity, what’s desirable, what’s undesirable and what’s forbidden?
Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, CO, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at 303.758.8777, or e-mail him from his website, www.heartrelationships.com.
DEAR PAW’S CORNER: I have two small children, and we recently added a new member to our family – a Cocker Spaniel puppy. “Missy” is adorable, and my kids absolutely love her; however, she is more than I bargained for. I am having a very hard time training her and was thinking about going to a dog trainer who can work on everything from house training to basic commands and even aggression. I have been hearing about a dog trainer based nearby. How do I know if he’ll be a good trainer for my dog? — Jessica P., via e-mail
DEAR JESSICA: Word-of-mouth recommendations about a dog trainer can be very telling, and if the person telling you about him thinks he is good and can help you, there’s a good chance he can.
Of course, there are other questions you should ask directly of the trainer when you contact him. Does he belong to a professional organization such as the Association of Pet Dog Trainers (found at www.apdt.com)? Does he specialize in certain breeds? How much experience does he have training Cocker Spaniels? What is the training format – one on one with the trainer, or a group setting with pet owners? Can other family members participate in the class? Are there any health restrictions or specific vaccinations required of Missy before she can join?
Don’t worry about asking too many questions! Good trainers care about your dog and will do their best to answer them.
Working with a professional trainer will be incredibly beneficial for both Missy and you. It’s not only Missy who’s learning how to respond to commands, you also will learn how to respond to Missy’s behavior, how to stop bad habits and how to continue training her long after the sessions end.
Wethersfield’s Firsid Barsa said her latest work, “The Final Conflict” (AuthorHouse), is “an epic, a saga, in the science fiction-fantasy genre. The story takes place over a period of 20-25 years, and the reason for such a broad canvas is it allows me to put in events that interest me, like wars and revolutions, insurgencies, and that sort of thing.” The novel is the final book in Firsid’s Janissary trilogy and is a wonderful, imaginative piece of writing.
Firsid hopes readers take away from the book, she noted, “the basic fundamentals of a humanistic philosophy.” More specifically, “I’d like them to really think about why we are the way we are, why we live in these kinds of societies, why some people rich and some poor, and why there so much conflict in society and what can be done about it.”
I asked Firsid why she writes and she said, “Good question and I don’t even know if I have an answer. I think the reason is probably something mundane, like it makes me feel better. Provides psychological release.” As for the revising, Firsid said, “It’s very tedious. Sometimes I kept going at it over and over. It just seems sometimes to go on forever.” Of course, at a certain point she stopped. “Once I sent in the final galleys, but even then, in fact, I had to stop myself from looking at any of it afterwards because I’d think about changing this or that word.”
In Field Marshall Konchak, the main character, Firsid created one of contemporary literature’s most complex, unpredictable characters. Is he courageous? Is he weak? (After all, he faints when he comes upon mutilated bodies.) Is he sane? Insane? Put simply, Firsid’s skill as an artist enabled her to create a character who isn’t easy to understand, which makes him believable and interesting. Like many of Dostoevsky’s characters, Konchak resonates long after you’ve finish this absorbing, satisfying novel.
A crucial chapter is titled “Kalipchia’s Letter,” and it involves Kalipchia, Konchak’s sister; the Janissary goddess Crekorana; Tatishe, Konchak’s niece; and of course Konchak. Of those characters, Tatishe achieves a towering importance: We learn who her real father is and about her “special destiny,” which has to do with freeing “the ancient gods” who are “entombed.” It’s a startling chapter and adds another dimension to Konchak’s character.
There’s a prequel Firsid wrote to go along with the trilogy. “It’s a novella, and that story, plus the trilogy, is basically the content of the universe I created,” she explained. Titled “The Rescuer,” the novella “goes back in time and actually can be read before or after the trilogy. If you read it before, you’d be prepared for a lot of things. If you read it after the trilogy, some of the science fiction elements, the gods and goddesses the Janissaries worshipped, and the supernatural elements in the storyline [are explained].”
As you navigate out into Fishers Island Sound, you look around the boat to make sure you have everything you need for a great afternoon of fishing: bait, case of coke, jug of drinking water and sandwiches for everybody.
