Daily Archives: August 20, 2008

Mashantucket Pequot Museum & Research Center Celebrates

by Jessica Warzeniak

Rain was predicted, but luckily the Great Spirit blessed us with sunshine for the tenth anniversary of the Mashantucket Pequot Museum & Research Center (MPMRC) on August 11. The smudging ceremony was performed by Kenneth M. Reels, Vice Chairman, as he did on the opening day in 1998. Lori Potter gave the blessing. Bill Satti emceed, welcoming town officials and dignitaries.

“It is a monumental day for the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation,” said Kimberly Hatcher-White, Executive Director. “It would not be as special without the people who have supported the museum over the past ten years.”

“Tell me a story,” she said “It’s a part of our everyday conversation. Storytellers pass down this art from one generation to another. Parents, family, and elders share knowledge to ensure history and culture stay alive.”

“Often these stories are cautionary tales. Our story was told many times over by newspapers, TV, radio, in Congress, and in smaller rooms. The story was told by those who not only witnessed it, but were involved in its birth. This dream came from the hopes of those individuals.”

“On August 11, 1998 the dream became a reality. Today, we are joined together, in the aptly named Gathering Space, to celebrate the tenth anniversary. The Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation accomplished many firsts since [then], including this building.”

Kim informs the audience of plans for the next ten years: ensuring up-to-date standards, improving the mission, being a vehicle to education the public and being a safe and welcoming place.

“Next summer the second floor is getting a new exhibit: Pequots in the Lost Century: 1870-1970… There is new archeological, cultural, and historical evidence that challenges the misconceptions for the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation and the MPMRC. And the story continues.”

“I can’t believe it’s been ten years,” said Vice Chairman Ken Reels. “It’s a beautiful thing. On behalf of the Tribe, I would like to thank everyone for coming. The most important part of what we do, and what we continue to do, is to share our rich, vibrant heritage with the world.”

“History is not complete unless his story, her story, and the whole story is told… Our goal here is to not show a bias towards anything but our version of the story.”

“We are not here to force our history. We are here to blend in with museums around New England. To encourage our children and Tribal members to tell their story, to write books…. We should all tell our history and live in harmony.”

“I would like to thank each and everyone of you for helping maintain what we have today,” said Joyce Walker, Vice Chairwoman, Tribal Elders Council.

“Each and everyone of us has a story,” Joyce continued. “Many elders did not live on the Reservation. Our parents or grandparents were born here, but through the years we had to live elsewhere to find work. We are blessed to be able to come back.”

During interviews after the ceremony, Dr. Jack Campisi, Dr. Kevin McBride, and Kimberly Hatcher-White talked to Alexis Ann, editor & publisher, The Resident, about their continued role in the museum.

“It goes back to Federal Recognition. One of the aims of Skip [Hayward] was to build a museum,”said Jack.“The executive director of Indian Rights Association recommended me to Skip because of my work with the Mashpee, Gay Head, and Narragansett Tribes.”

Skip and Jack met in 1978 and by January of 1979, “I was writing the Petition for Federal Acknowledgement. The difference is the President acknowledges and Congress recognizes.” The petition was vetoed by President Ronald Reagan, and Jack started working on Congressional approval of the Mashantucket Pequot Indian Land Claims Settlement Act.

“The Tribal members did a lot of research – Skip, Terry [Bell], and Loretta [Libby], going through records at courthouses and legislative buildings, studying the community, interviewing members, tracing lineages, finding evidence of community activities, and even digging up old phone bills.” said Jack.

In 1983, Skip approached Kevin about conducting archaeological research on the Mashantucket Pequot Reservation. At the time, Kevin was Director of Public Archaeology Survey Team, Inc., and an Anthropology Research Associate at UConn in Storrs.

“Really, I met Skip and Bill Starna from the Federal Recognition process. Skip and the Tribe had a vision, a dream, a goal to build a museum. History depicted the Pequots as extinct. He wanted to build a museum to convey their story. He valued research, partly for the Federal Recognition process, but also because he understood that archeology helps find people’s past – to be a resource to do their own research.”

“The museum now supports one of the best archeology programs in the country. The facilities are state-of-the-art to promote the learning of culture – of any one.”

Kevin, now the Director of Research for the museum and an Assistant Professor of Anthropology at UConn, explains that the State was closing in on the 200-acres the Tribe had left. “They could have been bitter. They could have told it their way, but they used the museum to tell the larger story in a way that engages the community from multiple perspectives. The agenda is to help people understand.”

Kimberly Hatcher-White, Executive Director, tells Alexis her plans for the next ten years. “I want to improve on what this institution does to impact the community,” said Kim. “Our current exhibit RACE: Are We So Different? is an opportunity for people to come together and talk about issues in a safe environment – it’s a vehicle to bring people together to help understand each other.”

“After ten years, museums can get stale. But it’s not the case here because in the museum world we are the baby.” A new exhibit will be underway next summer to the second floor: “Pequots in the Lost Century: 1870-1970.” Kim continues, “There is a gap where information is limited… During that period the thought was nobody was here on the Reservation, but we are finding there was a lot more going on than people believe and think.” Jason Mancini, senior researcher, is in year one of the research for the five year project.

The third part of the plan is to get the museum accredited. “It’s very difficult for Native museums,” said Kim. “We already go by museum standards. We should be an accredited institution.”

Kim started her career in 1994 pushing a cart at Foxwoods, selling coins. “I wanted to work my way up,” she said. When Kim got the chance to go to school, she jumped at the opportunity.

Kim earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology with a minor in Anthropology from Eastern Connecticut State University in 2002 and started working at the museum in the collections department under her mentor, Meredith Vasta.

When Terry Bell announced her resignation in 2006, Kim was encouraged to apply for the job. Terry sponsored Kim as her replacement. In September 2006, six months before Terry left, Kim became the deputy director. “In October 2006, I hit the ground running,” said Kim.

Dear Neighbor of Southeastern CT & Southern RI,

Just minutes away from the heart of Mystic, the Denison Pequotsepos Nature Center offers something for everyone. We are a combination wildlife sanctuary, natural history museum, and educational facility set in a 300-acre nature preserve. Visitors can experience the diverse woodland, wetland and meadow habitats and native wildlife of southern New England through a combination of interactive displays, live animal exhibits, or by hiking or walking our more than 10 miles of trails.

View live snakes, turtles and a variety of frogs in our indoor exhibits. Learn what happens outside after the sun sets in our “Night in the Meadow” theatre. Investigate life under a log, or learn to identify bird flight patterns and migration paths. Touch and feel items from our bog display — our newest exhibit which depicts the changes that take place as a pond transforms to a bog and eventually a forested swamp.

Step outside and visit our resident birds of prey in outdoor flight enclosures before exploring the trails that criss-cross brooks, forests, meadows, ponds and rocky outcrops. Whether you’re interested in birding, plant identification, plant life, hiking, or nature photography, you’ll find a way to enjoy our 300-acre preserve. You can search for bluebirds in the meadow, painted turtles or bullfrogs in the pond, admire our summer wildflower garden or simply enjoy a peaceful walk in the woods all four seasons of the year.

Looking to learn more about the world around you? DPNC offers a variety of year-round environmental education programs for all ages. Our programs offer unique opportunities to learn about ecology with the guidance of our professional education staff. From discovery, after-school classes and summer camps for children, guided hikes and workshops for families, and kayak, wildflower, and hawk watching trips for adults, DPNC provides class participants with an expanded appreciation for the natural world that leads to responsible stewardship.

The Nature Center’s facilities include an outdoor treehouse and picnic area that may be used in warmer weather. We also stock a selection of unique educational nature items and hard-to-find field guides at the Nature Center Store.

The Denison Pequotsepos Nature Center was founded in 1946 by the Dension Society. We are open year-round, Monday thru Saturday from 9a.m. to 5p.m., and Sunday from 10a.m. to 4p.m.. We are located at 109 Pequotsepos Rd. in Mystic. For more information, please visit www.dpnc.org or call 860. 536.1216.

Jennifer Johnson
Director of Marketing & Communications
Denison Pequotsepos Nature Center

Restaurant: Universal Food Store – Noank

Universal Food Store of Noank serves Southeastern CT and Western Rhode Island since 1947. Proprietor, Frank Quaratella, Jr. said “We specialize in Premium Gold Certified Angus Beef, especially prime ribs, crown roasts of pork, veal sliced to perfection and other premium meats. We have Bell & Evans Chickens and free-range turkeys by Gozzi Farm, Guilford, for the holidays. A full line of groceries is available, including fresh produce daily. Our authentic Italian pizza is baked fresh, and we prepare grinders, calzones, strombolis and party platters to order. Our choice, freshly cut, hanging meats include everything that you would like to serve your family and friends and we will cut, bone it and season it, so that it is oven-ready for you. It’s really like an old-fashioned Italian market.”

Effective Practice – Full Swing Part I

by Derek Hooper

If you want to get better at this game, there is only one way to accomplish that – practice. I don’t just mean going to a driving range and hitting a large bucket of balls with your driver with no target and no goals for that session. That is exercise not practice. If you want to get better you need to do regular, effective practice.

Effective practice is any practice session where before you begin you clearly define what you will do in that session, how you will do it and you will have a measure to know if you achieved your goal. Only once you start doing this type of practice regularly will you start to see real improvement in your golf game. So how do you devise such a practice session?

Your first step is to assess your current full swing game and decide what aspect of it, if improved, will give you the greatest gains in performance. Taking a golf lesson with your local PGA Professional is the quickest, easiest and most accurate assessment of your swing you can get, and will be time and money well spent. They will break down your swing with you and explain where and why you are getting into trouble, before showing you practice drills to help you improve the areas of weakness. They will also tell you how to assess your ball flight so you will know if you are doing the drill correctly and thus improving.

Armed with these practice drills, you can now design your effective practice session by answering the questions and guidelines below:

1. How much total time to I have for my practice session?

2. Set up an effective practice station on a quiet section of the range, with clubs on the ground for alignment and ball position.

3. There should be at least two practice swings for every ball hit.

4. Golf is a target game, so always practice to a target.

5. Give every shot and practice swing your fullest attention – quality is more important than quantity.

6. Examine your ball flight after every shot and ask yourself if during the swing you achieved the swing change you are trying to make.

7. Based on the last swing and ball flight decide your focus for the next set of practice swing and shot. Be sure to stay focused on the goals and drills for that particular practice session. Do not allow yourself to drift into reactionary practice where all you are doing is making corrections based on the previous shot.

Follow this effective practice outline every time you work on your full swing and coupled with regular feedback from your PGA Professional, your improvement is all but guaranteed.

Derek Hooper is the Director of Instruction at Lake of Isles Golf Academy. Derek has a college degree in teaching and over 14 years experience conducting lesson programs in Australia, Japan and Taiwan. Before moving to the United States, Derek was the Director of Instruction at the David Duval Golf Academy in Miyazaki, Japan. Derek can be contacted at 888.475.3746 or dhooper@troongolf.com.

Kanye West at MGM

by Taryn Alessandro

In the MGM Grand Theater at Foxwoods on Thursday night, August 7, Kanye West delivered a sci-fi themed performance complete with endless smoke, off-the-hook special effects and an extravagant light show. Kanye’s Glow in the Dark Tour performance opened with Gnarles Barkley, and ended with a theater full of screaming fans.

There’s no doubt about it, Kanye is a born performer. Accompanied only by surreal lighting and smoke rising around his silhouette, Kanye was able to keep fans out of their seats throughout the performance. “Throw your hands up in the air,” shouted Kanye, during “It All Falls Down.” Everyone did. Fists were pumping all night long.

Other chart topping hits performed by Kanye included “Gold Digger,” “Jesus Walks,” “Hey Mama,” and “Diamonds.”

As if the show wasn’t over-the-top enough, leaving the theater, we were handed samples of Kanye’s newly released book, “Thank You and You’re Welcome”, co-written by J. Sakiya Sandifer. “Thank You and You’re Welcome” is a chock full of advice from Kanye and includes a heartfelt dedication to his mama.

Metal Madness at Mohegan Sun

by Christopher Annino

Several weeks ago, Mohegan Sun took a gamble having another heavy metal concert. The results were amazing – all types of people flocked from New Jersey to RI to see Sebastian Bach, Dokken, and Poison perform.

The former Skid Row front man, and Broadway performer Sebastian Bach was the first to take the stage. Sebastian was on fire that night, as the performer’s voice glowed with brilliance. He managed to astonish the audience as he worked the stage like an acrobat. Sebastian did a few hits from his years with Skid Row and a few solo pieces. While singing the song “I’ll Remember You,” He dedicated it to a toddler who was sitting in the front row looking at him in awe. Sebastian ended the song by saying to the toddler “I’ll remember you kid, thank you for coming to the show.”

“After all these years, he is still hot, and is still amazing to see,” said Milford resident, Raisachasse.

When Dokken took the stage, they sounded better than ever. After an over ten year hiatus and a new line up, Dokken had a heavier rhythmic sound, but still managed to keep their eighties metal roots intact. Dokken played a few of their well-known hits from the eighties and late nineties, such as “Dream Warriors,” and “In My Dreams.” They also did songs from their new independently released album, Lightning Strikes Again.

Dokken set the mood for arguably one of the greatest American rock bands to emerge over the past two decades, Poison.

A sea of eager Poison fans gathered as fog flowed from the stage. Lead guitarist C.C. DeVille jumped out from stage and began whaling out one of the band’s all time hits, “Look What the Cat Dragged In.” Drummer Rikki Rocket and bassist Bobby Dall followed. Then lead singer Bret Michaels emerged from under the floor of the stage, and began dancing around with his microphone stand full of scarves. The night was full of guitar slinging antics with levitating drum sets, and an amazing pyrotechnics show. They played hit songs “Unskinny Bop,” “Talk Dirty To Me,” “Your Mamma Don’t Dance,” and “Nothing But a Good Time.”

Poison added a few rock ballads, including “Something to Believe In.” Bret dedicated the song to the men and women in the armed forces. Following that song, C.C. DeVille played a beautiful rendition of “Amazing Grace” on his electric guitar. The concert ended with several encore performances and an arena filled with happy fans.

NIN Rocks Mohegan Sun

by Jason Youngblood

Hundreds of loyal fans lined up outside the Mohegan Sun Arena to see their favorite industrial rock star, Trent Reznor, perform with his band Nine Inch Nails on Thursday, August 7. The primary choice of attire was black on black, with a variety of multicolored hair styles, chains and, of course, black eyeliner.

Nine Inch Nails, affectionately known as NIN, took the stage shortly after the opening act, Deerhunter. Trent wasted no time by jumping directly into his hard thrashing, brand new song “1,000,000” from his new album “The Slip,” and this is exactly what his listeners were hoping for. Heads were bobbing and thrashing throughout the audience and Trent seemed to feed directly off of if it; like a caffeine injection.

This was my first time seeing NIN live, so I was very excited to say the least. I am a long time fan of the band, since Trent’s early days, and own all eight of his albums. To tell the truth, I wasn’t really sure what to expect because I had only seen the band through their music videos. With that said, I was thoroughly impressed by what I saw.

Although Trent is known for his more aggressive songs, he took a short break in the middle of the show to perform some of his newer, more mellow material. “Ghosts I-IV,” the album directly preceding “The Slip,” is a collection of ambient tracks, something new for Trent. This break allowed the fans and the band alike to catch their breath. It also set the stage for an incredible light show that lasted the remainder of their performance.

The light show included two separate screens of LED lights that spanned the entire width of the stage – one in front of the band, and one behind. This staggered setup allowed for some truly amazing effects that made my jaw drop and my head spin.

After the ambient intermission, the band kicked back into full gear by blasting out several of their harder songs, including “Head Like a Hole,” “Survivalism,” “Closer” and “The Hand That Feeds.” But, unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and, in Trent’s case, the end of this concert was more final than we all knew. As it turns out, Trent is battling a recurring throat ailment, and shortly after this concert, he announced on his website that he had to postpone his August 8 concert until November 9.

Roger’s Rave Reviews: Tony Orlando, Julius Bussey & CT Sun

by Roger Zotti

Tony Orlando

Twenty months ago Tony Orlando tipped the scales at 300-pounds and had a 50-inch waist. Entered NutriSystem. Now the veteran performer sports a 34-inch waist. He’s minus 105-pounds, too. Tony appeared on August 2-3 at Mohegan Sun Cabaret Theater. He put on an outstanding show which, if you had a chance to see him before, is no surprise.

After opening with several of his huge hits (“Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree,” “Candida,” “Knock Three Times”), Tony performed covers of hits by Jerry Butler, Willie Nelson, James Taylor, Del Shannon, The Beatles, Neil Diamond, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Ben E. King, Paul Simon, Led Zeppelin, and Prince.

Highlights: Tony’s version of Ben E. King’s classic “Stand By Me” triggered memories of the superb 1986 film, which was adapted from the equally wonderful Stephen King novella, “The Body.” Tony performed the song, which illustrates how much we need each other, with authenticity and passion. The same for his rendition of James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain.” Tony’s excellent seven-piece band included singer and keyboardist Toni Wine – with him for 48-years, and the hugely talented guitarist and keyboardist Kerry Cole. They brought the house to its feet with their cover of Willie Nelson’s “Always On My Mind” …If you’re wondering about Toni Wine, she wrote and performed such hits as “Sugar, Sugar” “A Groovy Kind of Love,” and “You Really Got a Hold On Me.”

Julius Bussey: Following His Dream

“I’ll be auditioning for ‘American Idol’ in East Rutherford, NJ, on August 19,” said singer-guitarist Julius Bussey, 23. Of course, we wish Julius good music and good luck.

Julius, whose influences are Stevie Wonder, Baby Face, and Michael Jackson, hails from Corpus Christi, TX, and is currently stationed at the Naval Submarine Base New London. “I’m just an average American who didn’t know anybody in the industry, but I decided to follow my dream,” he said. “My music is mainly mid-nineties R&B.” Julius’s main goal is to satisfy his fans: “In Texas we say, ‘Keep it one hundred’ and that’s what I try to do. You know, some of the stuff coming out today is good but we need old school music that makes you want to dance.”

What does Julius find most rewarding about performing? Answer: The fans. “When you do a song you know the fans love, and they’re screaming and yelling, that’s a great feeling,” he said. What’s most difficult? Answer: “I’d say that at first, when you get up there on stage, you don’t know how the people will react. You get those little butterflies. But the show goes on.”

Julius is grateful to his wife for her support. Grateful to his manager, David Mann, for his, too. Without them, Julius knows, he wouldn’t be where he is today. “Julius is a genuinely talented young man,” said David, head of Majestic Management. “I believe he’ll be successful.” (David is always looking for new clients and can be reached at 203.641.4193.)

Time to Evaluate

The CT Sun won’t be home until August 31, when they’ll battle Sue Bird and Seattle. It’s the Olympic break and a good time to evaluate the 2008 team.

Quaker Hill’s Nick Checker said, “I give the team an A minus, and the experience of attending the games an A plus.” According to another Quaker Hill resident, longtime fan Jim LaTourette: “They are basically a new team this year – maybe not as talented as last year’s but definitely more vibrant.”

This from Waterford’s Bill Maynard: “The Sun are performing far better than expected, though they have experienced some growing pains. More rookies than veterans and still in first place. Go, Sandrine!” Uncasville’s Phil Carney, whose favorite players are Sandrine Gruda, Amber Holt, and Ketia Swanier, sees CT as an interesting “mix of young, old, and in-betweens. I don’t think they have what it takes to go all the way, but who knows what they will bring to the table when the season resumes?”

There are times when good players become stale. That’s what happened with last year’s team. So changes were made, and what we now have is an exciting and entertaining team that works well together and provides many positive surprises.

Transformation Behind Bars

by Roger Zotti

After readers finish “Letters from the Dhamma Brothers: Meditation Behind Bars” (Pariyatti Press), its author, Jenny Phillips, hopes “they are thinking in new and creative ways about the problem of mass incarceration.”That’s what happened to the New York City judge who read Jenny’s book and now believes in rehabilitation. “He told me now it’s going to be harder for him to be a judge,” said Jenny, a cultural anthropologist and practicing psychotherapist.

Donaldson and Vipassana

In January 2002, Jenny writes, the W.E. Donaldson Correctional Facility, located in Birmingham, AL, a high level maximum security prison, “became the first state prison on North America to hold a Vipassana course. Twenty inmates, (the Dhamma Brothers), took part in the intensive ten week program. (Dhamma means “teaching of an enlightened person.”)

Vipassana, Jenny writes, “is a simple, practical way to achieve real peace of mind and to lead a happy, useful life. Vipassana means ‘to see things as they really are’ and is a logical process of mental purification through self-observation… It is one of the world’s most ancient meditation techniques… rediscovered 2600 years ago by Gotama the Buddha.”

The Letters and the Documentary

Much of the book was written by the inmates who participated in the Vipassana course. “It is a story told in letters and about their search for inner peace and redemption,” Jenny explained. “My writing wraps around the letters.” Some of the letters are philosophical, others humorous. “All of them are powerful,” said Jenny, who lives in Concord, MA, and works in prisons for 12 years now.

One of Jenny’s favorite is O.B. Benjamin Oryang’s “fly” letter. “It sort of contains all the meaning in the book, because this man was deeply in touch with his physical sensations and emotional responses to a house fly,” she said. Benjamin writes about the evening he and seven other men were meditating in a sweltering room. Suddenly a fly appeared: “… something very cold and heavy landed on my arm. I opened my eyes… the culprit was a regular looking fly. It continued to crawl across my bald head, face, and arms… Immediately after sitting everyone started to complain, at the same time, about the… one fly [that] had terrorized eight-hardened prisoners for a whole hour.”

In 2007’s award-winning documentary, “The Dhamma Brothers,” Benjamin’s letter, Jenny noted, “Is the very last thing in the film. He talks about how [the prisoners]… were struggling with their emotions about this fly. The film is both sad and inspiring, but after he read his letter, everyone left the theater roaring with laughter.”

Final Words

Though Jenny knows that “there are inmates who are beyond being helped by programs,” her book challenges the warehousing-of-inmates mentality. Her major point is: “… locking up all inmates and denying them any means for significant personal transformation is currently creating a huge, separate system of pariahs and outcasts.”

As Pulitzer Prize winning historian Doris Kearns Goodman wrote that Jenny’s book “is an absolutely compelling story of an astonishing treatment program with prison inmates that, against all odds, worked.”

Exploring Your Trust Issues

by Neil Rosenthal

Do you have difficulty trusting important people in your life? More to the point, are you wanting to trust people more than you do? Trust your intimate partner more? If so, complete the following sentences as thoroughly as you can, courtesy of Pat Love in the book The Truth About Love (Fireside):

Concerning your intimate partner:

1. I would feel more secure in our relationship if…
2. I would trust you more if…
3. I would be willing to risk more in terms of romance if…
4. I would take more sexual risks with you if…
5. I would trust you more sexually if…
6. I would feel better about us going out socially if …
7. I would feel closer to you emotionally if…
8. I would do more projects with you if…
9. I would enjoy time with our family and friends more if…
10. The one thing that would strengthen my commitment the most is…

Now, explore how you can be more trustworthy to your partner:

1. I believe you would trust me more if I…
2. I could help make our relationship more romantic if I …
3. I could help make our relationship more sexually satisfying if I…
4. I can improve the trust level of our friendship if I…
5. I could make our relationship safer for myself if I…
6. I could make our social life more fun if I…
7. I could make it easier to live with me or be around me if I…
8. I could improve our time with family and/or friends if I…
9. I could make our relationship emotionally safer for you if I….
10. I could make projects around the house more enjoyable if I…
11. When we hit a low spot, I could help our relationship get back on track by…
12. I could make our relationship more of a priority if …
13. I could help my partner feel more confident about my commitment if I…
14. I could include my partner more in the important events in my life by…
15. I could improve my part in helping us to resolve our conflicts if I…
16. I could help improve the amount of fun we have together if…

Cynthia Wall, in the book The Courage To Trust (New Harbinger) offers the following exercise about your trust issues. Draw two vertical lines on a page, creating three columns. The first will hold names of people you know and the next two are for notes.

Column 1: Begin the list with people you frequently see or interact with, such a coworkers, neighbors, family members, parents, bosses, teachers, friends, lovers, ex-lovers, customers, clients, employees and so on.

Column 2: Give a rating of 0-100 to note how relaxed and confident you feel with each of these people. This measures your trust of key people in your life. You are simply noting how authentic, free or cautious you are with this person about revealing who you really are. If doing this exercise makes you tense, ask yourself “What rule am I breaking here, whose rule is it?”

Column 3: Look over the list of people and the ratings. Write down any qualities about each person that caused you to feel either safer or more apprehensive. Are they younger, less experienced, non-confrontational? Are people who are personable and/or self-confident easier or harder for you to trust?

Choosing to trust is an act of emotional resilience. It is connected to our happiness, serenity and peace of mind, and it largely defines how close our intimate relationships will be.

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, CO, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at 303.758.8777, or e-mail him from his website, www.heartrelationships.com

You Can’t Run Away From Your Problems

by Bryan Golden

No one wants problems. Escaping from problems can be much more appealing than resolving them. Running away is certainly tempting, especially when facing persistent, repetitive problems.

Not only is it impossible to outrun your problems, attempting to do so exacerbates your frustration. When you try to escape, problems follow you. This is because the problems you experience repeatedly are due to what’s inside you rather than where you are. When you constantly face the same problem situations, you must look in the mirror to find the cause.

This doesn’t mean all problems are necessarily your fault. But there may be some aspect of your personality causing or attracting the problems. So, an effective way for resolving problems is to alter your behavior to produce better results.

Jane is currently working at her fourth job in ten years. Whenever Jane begins a new job, everything is great for the first year or so. Then things always go down hill for her. Jane’s coworkers start avoiding her. Her supervisor becomes more judgmental, criticizing Jane’s work habits.

Jane invariably changes jobs after growing dissatisfied with her work environment. She erroneously believes there is something wrong with the people she works with. In each new job, the pattern repeats itself. Needless to say, Jane is very frustrated, convinced it’s next to impossible to find a decent work environment.

Of course it is possible to land in a bad job. If that’s the case, changing jobs should remedy the situation. In Jane’s example, the same scenario reoccurs. Perhaps, Jane takes her problems with her to each new job. Jane needs to assess her interpersonal communication skills, and her job performance before once again jumping ship.

Over the last 20 years, Steven and his family moved five times. Sometimes they stayed in the same area, other times they moved to a new town or state. Wherever Steven went, he had the same problems. The neighbors were annoying, their house always had problems, there was too much traffic, and people were rude.

Was it possible for Steven to have such bad luck? Or was there some component of Steven’s nature that always found fault with whatever situation he was in? Since Steven found himself in the same scenario for two decades, chances are he takes his problems with him. Unless Steven identifies and corrects the elements of his personality responsible for his dissatisfaction, it won’t matter where or how often he moves.

Ed has trouble staying in a relationship. When he meets someone new, things are great in the beginning. Then the problems develop. Ed gets impatient with his partner. He is very independent and doesn’t want to adjust his lifestyle to accommodate another person. Ed has little desire to consider the needs of the person he is with.

When each relationship invariably ends, Ed is relieved and starts looking for someone else with whom he will be truly compatible. The problem is Ed’s attitude is incompatible with being in a successful relationship. Ed doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him. Therefore, he is destined to experience the same problems in every relationship. Should he happen to meet someone who feels the same way he does, the relationship will end even faster since neither one of them will be willing to be considerate of the other.

Don’t try to outrun your problems. Objectively analyze why your problems occur. Often it can be helpful to seek input from an objective party who can give you constructive feedback. You can change your behavior and attitude to prevent the same problems from repeating themselves.

NOW AVAILABLE: “Dare to Live Without Limits,” the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.

Westerly Yacht Club Celebrates 80 Years of Social and Boating Fun

by Don Greene

It all began in 1927 on the steps of the Westerly Post Office. A chance meeting of the late Geoffrey L. Moore and the late Sydney B. Alling laid the groundwork for the club.

On July 30th, 1928, the 28 members on board began to draft incorporation papers for The Westerly Yacht Club.

In 1934, Dan Lakin Jr., Stanley Higginbotham, and Dick Burnett won the RI Junior Sailing Championship for the third time. The sailing crew gained National recognition when they raced for the national title in Edgartown, MA.

In 1936, the average fee for a Yacht Club function was 49 cents per person. Through the years, the club growth kept pace with the members’ requests.

On January 26, 1988 the club’s burgee flew from the signal halyard on the US Coast Guard Tall Ship Eagle in Sydney Harbor. The Eagle participated in a parade of Tall Ships celebrating Australian Bicentennial Day.

She went on from there to cross the Equator from South to North at 180 degrees longitude on a passage from Pago Pago American Somoa towards Honolulu.

On June 7th, the officers and board of directors invited the Past Commodores and their ladies to a dinner to celebrate the continuing growth of the club under the Commodores direction. Chef Tony & Cheryl Spino, co-chairpersons and a committee of fourteen members prepared and served, family style, a sumptuous turkey dinner. Dinner and dancing music was provided by one of the many bands selected by Fred Koury, manager of band entertainment and daily operation.

We were fortunate to have 15 Past Commodores present for a photo shoot.